Sasa's Dollhouse

Gentle Reminders

They then walked around the house with Leni showing her things that reminded her of Jesse. From the pictures on the wall, to the hat he usually wears when going around the city. Each item, no matter how small, had its own story. The quick trip ended with them in the master bedroom facing the t-shirt and jeans that remained hanging there since his death.

Leni then reached out and took a whiff of the shirt. Time has already faded the scents but to her it's as if as fresh as the day she put it there.

"You know, we still touch the photo of Frank in the dining room before we go out." Risa said.

Her heart jumped on Risa's admission and then they both sank to the bedroom floor.

"How do you get over it?"

Risa knew what she meant, and her answer was simple. "You don't. You just get used to it."

Leni's eyes widened in shock. Then Risa continued. "When you lose your partner in life, you tend to cling to things that remind you of your past. But at some point, you just have to accept that they're not there anymore."

For the first time in a while, the tears wouldn't stop flowing from Leni's eyes. "Paano kung malimutan ko na siya? I don't think I could live with myself kung mangyari un. Parang nasanay ako na package deal kami eh."

Then Risa had a lightbulb moment. "Okay I think I'm starting to understand."

"What?"

"Go back to what you just said."

"...package deal?" Leni inquired in the most innocent way possible.

Risa then described to her that she's still pretty much stuck in denial mode and that she's still caught in the Jesse/Leni identity. "You are not Jesse and Leni anymore. You are simply Leni, and Leni is her own person."

It was as if she was jolted out of a deep slumber the moment Risa said those words.

"And Leni will do great things. She will love and be loved by many people. She is her own person. You are your own person, and that's fine."

"And being my own person does not mean forgetting him?"

Risa shook her head and cupped Leni's cheeks. "Yes being your own person does not mean forgetting him. Being your own person means following your destiny. You were destined to be with him, diba? But you are destined for greater things and for other people. You don't need to forget him, but you shouldn't forget yourself as well.

It felt like a metaphorical slap on the face. How Leni wished it didn't take a car accident and some rocky weeks to get her to this point, but it's what it was, and she's accepted that.