Anxiety Alley

Dark Dreams and Awkward Realizations [Chapter 3]

Willow's P.O.V-

"Don't look them in the eye, they can sense your fear, you shouldn't panic. Love life, love music. Can't die. Ben, sigh, love, heart. The creativity is attractive, the hair that glides over one eyebrow, the shape of his lips, what would they look like with black lipstick smeared on them?" My thoughts, ridiculous. Every where. I almost slammed into him again today. I felt my stomach react in an odd way. I've heard some people call them butterflies, a crush. What if he doesn't like me? Slam my head into the wall, loop around and don't look at him. It hurts to think this way about him, I cry. I run. I mentally scream. I curse myself for running away. I smash into him. WHAT THE FRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Flashes, alarms, sirens in my head, panic, can't breath, stumble back. Relax when he catches

me in a hug. Like a disease, his embrace the cure. I can finally breathe. He tenderly holds me, like a question. Is this okay? The heck it is. Love me. Throw your arms around him. I do.

Can't stop the feeling. It burns, not obeying is pain. Pain is beauty. Is disobedience beautiful? Nothing will stop me from... I break free. I run. I cry. I end up in a restroom. Why am I here? Doesn't matter. Now please excuse me while I go throw up.

I didn't throw up. It was just dry heaving.

I'm crying. I need to wipe off my eyeliner and mascara. It's running. It might stain my skin. I pull a mirror out of my back pocket. I wipe off my makeup. Wipe off my tears. reapply. Pretend that nothing is real, that nothing exists. This is all in your head. And it is.

I wake up, get dressed, and forget that dream. That was so weird. Never doing that again. Note to self: Stop eating Oreos before bed. And listening to Disney songs before bed, too. Especially The Little Mermaid.