Anxiety Alley

When I Was [Chapter 8]

A/N I'm running out of titles!! 

The rest of the week just kind of drifts by. I don't see Willow much, even though we have Government and Sophomore Choir together. She's either intentionally dodging me or we've both been busy. Hopefully it's just first-week-of-school-unavailability.  

Friday, she steps off the bus like something from alternative press. Her red hair is curled, and the purple streak is twisted up in a braid and wrapped around her head. Her fringe is pulled up, and back. For once I can see her entire face without the curtain of hair. Her eyes glimmer with mischief and thick eyeliner, and I can't help but to reach out and twirl her. She's basically magnetic. When she spins, her black and white skirts flies up ever so slightly.

She sees me and lifts galaxy nails in a half-wave, bringing her fingers to sweep at the phantom fringe. She shakes her head and bites her lip, thinking of an inside joke I can only begin to guess. 

I walk up to her, head down, pretending I'm not as nervous as I am. When I look up, she's right in front me. I hold out my arms, hoping she'll fall into them. I'm not disappointed. I hold her as carefully, like she's a box marked fragile. Of course, my psyche's the same way. When I glance down at her her lips are moving ever so slightly. Then, they turn downward into an indecipherable frown. 

"What's wrong Willow?" I tilt my head confused. She shakes her head and starts muttering under her breath. By the time I've identified the tune, she's moved on to a new song. When she finishes I shrug. 

"Why the singing, are you okay?" I asks, completely lost. She mumbles something I can't make out, and her hands start shaking. 

"Willow?" I reach out my hand towards her but she runs. I'm left wondering what I did, and why I'm always watching my friends disappear. I take a step, meaning to run after her, but the warning bell rings. I can't get in trouble at this school too, I promised Mum. 

So I trudge dejectedly to first period, agonizing through English. I have 2nd period Government with her, and the clock couldn't be moving any slower. It ticks by on heavy legs, dragging its proverbial feet. When Ms.Williams passes out the homework, I curse myself. I haven't heard a single thing she's said. I'm dead meat unless I can find someone to help me. 

I jump when the bell rings, racing to Gov.  I'm out of breath when I get there, looking around to see her. But she's not there and my leg hurts like someone twisted my knee out socket and put it in my ankle. I limp dejectedly to my seat, cringing when I sit down. Maybe I'll have to take Mum up on those crutches. 

She stumbles in last minute, fresh makeup and puffy red eyes. My plan to ask what's wrong fails, since she won't even look at me. I pass her note after note, piling them up on her desk right in front of mine. 

Are you okay?

What happened earlier?

Talk to me!

Willow!

Finally, she huffs and unfolds one of the crumpled scraps of paper, reading it. She picks up the others, reading them as well. Eventually, a smile breaks through her cloudy disposition. She scribbles something down hastily. I grab the note, almost tearing it in my anticipation.

I'm fine, I remembered something I had to get earlier, don't worry about me.

So you're not mad, you don't hate me?  

No, of course not 

You sure you're okay? 

I. Am. Fine 

Alright, alright. Wanna study with me later? I need LOADS of help on english 

I guess. What time? 

6?

Sure, I just have to call my mum

:)

After that, I stopped. The teacher was shooting me disapproving glares. But even Coach White's boring lectures couldn't kill my spirit. I had a date tonight! Well, not an official date or anything,just. . .

When Government was over, we parted ways, me to Chemistry and her to Algebra II. I didn't talk to her in choir, because boy and girl choirs were separated, but I caught her eye a couple times. 

When the bus let me off in front of my house, I rushed in, almost forgetting the pain in my knee. Mum laughs when she sees me, face flushed and crazy smile on my face. 

"Alright," she shakes her head, "Spill. Who is she?"

"Hey!" I cry, "How do you know it's not a he?" 

"Fine then, who is he?" she repeats, emphasis on the 'he'. 

"Just kidding," I smirk, "her name is Willow, and she'll be here at 6 to study."

"Well, you better clean up, this place is a wreck," she states, "Since you've got a guest, I'm going to run out and get some ice cream. We'll have pizza for dinner." 

"Thanks Mum," I smile, hugging her abruptly before I start picking up the books that litter our house like Legos in a toddler's bedroom. By the time I'm finished, and Mum's got dinner ready, it's 6:15. 

Ten more minutes pass, with me agonizing over each and every one of them. When my cell rings, I drop it three times before finally bringing it to my ear. 

"Yes?" I manage, breathless. 

"I won't be coming tonight Ben. We were driving and it- S-so much blood. There was glass everywhere. Everywhere. My brother's dead, and right now, I can't help but wish it was me."