Anything For Rachel

Chapter Eleven.

                  

The elevator doors shut, leaving him on the other side.

As I turned around the guards all moved back into their places around me. I felt suffocated by them, but I let them lead me to the blue room. Once I was alone inside I sat down at the dining table and let myself really cry like I have held back for so long. Big, ugly, stupid crying for no reason, and for every reason all at once.

I've spent so long pretending to be strong, pretending to be ok, pretending to have forgotten...but I just haven't. I desperately wish I could have forgotten over the time about all the feelings this place gives me. I remember when I was first brought here, how much I hated it, but the more I got to know Calvin, the more this place became so much more to me than just a prison.

It was home because it was where he was.

How can he still have such a power over me? My mind won't work when he is around, my feelings refuse to be hidden when he is near me, and my mouth just wants to scream I love you, even though I know that I never can say that again. Too much has happened.

I stood up from the table and paced the room, needing to get some of this nervous energy out of me. I can't believe that this whole time that Calvin thought I was still upset about the vampire takeover lie. I was pissed, and I felt incredibly stupid for missing all of the signs, but ultimately, it was that lie that brought us together, no matter the circumstances, I fell in love with him. What had hurt was being away from him, not the lies.

I'd been so deep in thought that I hadn't even noticed when the door opened and Octavia walked in with Cromley. "Majesty?" She said, making me jump nearly out of my skin.

I spun around and I couldn't help but notice the looks on their faces as they took in my appearance. Makeup smeared all around, and snot pouring from my bright red nose. "Sorry." I sniffled. "I was just..."

"Having a breakdown?" Octavia asked and I nodded. "That is known to happen around here from time to time."

I almost smiled as I nodded, wiping my face some more. "You can say that again." I muttered.

Cromley smiled at me warmly. "Anything I can do, please let me know." He said with a bow. My stomach grumbled and I looked up at them helplessly, then over to the kitchen with a frown. "How about I get you some food?" He asked politely and I nodded my head.

"Thank you, Cromley." I sighed. Since Logan stormed off, I haven't eaten. He was the one who always cooked for us at home.

Cromley left the room and Octavia walked over to the vanity, pulling out the plush seat. "Come on," She said. "Let's get you cleaned up. The council has reached a decision."

"So fast?" I asked as I walked over and she nodded her head.

"Although I know how hard that was for the both of you, his lies, and your emotional reaction really sold it." She said. "You shouldn't worry about that anymore."

I leaned back in the chair, pulling my legs up beside me as she pulled my hair from the ribbon and fanned it out behind me, brushing through it with her fingers. "Can I ask you something?" I spoke up after a couple of minutes.

"Anything." She smiled at me in the mirror.

"You said you and Calvin are close," I said. "How has he...I don't know, I guess I'm wondering what the last five years have been like for him." I told her and then ducked my head slightly so that she wouldn't see the insecurity written all over my face.

"Honestly?" She asked and I peeked up to catch her smiling. "He's been a big baby." She laughed and I couldn't help but snort out a little one too. "I'm serious." She smiled. "I used to have this idea about this place and the king and the prince, and I was so excited to finally come here, but then I got here and found that nothing was like I had imagined it to be. Especially him. I know you probably heard that before you, Calvin used to be looked at as very cold and heavy handed." She told me and I nodded in agreement. He had told me that himself, as did a handful of others. "I'd watch him on the TV and he'd always be brooding or making sarcastic comments that you could tell pushed the King's buttons." She laughed to herself at some memory, then looked back down at me as she pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. "Then there was the competition, and it was almost instantaneous the change you made in him. Commentators hated it because he seemed to come alive when you were around and he wasn't the deep and dark prince they'd always assumed him to be. You should have heard the way the news would talk about him." She sighed.