Anything For Rachel

Chapter Nineteen.

           

I sat my book aside on the couch and sat up straighter. "Ok," I said warily. "What do you want to talk about, Lexton?"

She fidgeted with her hands in front of her and then finally took a deep breath and put her hands at her sides. "We need to talk about this competition." She said. "I'm not interested in being a part of whatever little thing you and Calvin have planned."

"I don't know what you mean." I said softly, my heart rate picking up just a little.

"Why are we doing it again?" She snapped. "I don't like being on the TV and I hate all the attention it gets me, and I don't want to be around Calvin anymore. It is too hard." She sighed, not making eye contact with me. "It's ridiculous to be forcing us back into this."

I chewed the inside of my cheek and tried to think what to say to her. "I know this is frustrating, Lexton." I told her. "I don't want to do this anymore than you do, but it's not our choice."

"That's the point!" She said. "It's never my choice. I'm always being forced into these things I want nothing to do with."

"I understa-."

"No!" She yelled. "You don't." She said looking into my eyes. "You have no idea what it is like to be the one on the outside. Everything here was so different for you. You were his favorite from the start and none of us ever stood a chance against you, just like now. You had it easy. Everyone fawning over you, and all the special privileges you got. I had to give blood every single day. I was always exhausted and feeling weak from the amount and then on top of that I had to be paraded around on competition nights and have a man I admire pretend to give a care in the world about me and a couple of the other girls who also meant nothing to him."

I was struck by her words, pretty sure I'd never heard her say so much all at one time, or at all.

"If it hadn't been for you, Calvin and I might have had a future." She said coldly. "We were friends first, and then I thought we might could be more, but then you decided you wanted him, and you took him." She accused. "You could have used his favor to keep you safe without having to steal him away from me. We were good together, could have been great, but not when the better than everyone Rachel decided to give him a try."

I was getting pissed, but I decided to try to be the bigger person and keep my cool. "It wasn't like that, Lexton." I said evenly, but it only made her face turn slightly red.

"That's exactly how it was!" She spat. "He told me he was interested in me, and I mentioned my suspicion that he had something going on with you already. I didn't want to get my heartbroken, and he assured me that he wouldn't be choosing you. He even kissed me, but then not long after, he suddenly had a change of heart and before I knew it the competition was called quits early, you were married to him, and I was heartbroken anyway." I stood up and tried to leave the room, but she blocked the door. "As if that wasn't bad enough on its own, we also had a special connection otherwise...as I am sure he told you. I wasn't enough to make him want me, but I was enough to want my blood." She shook her head. "I thought maybe we'd somehow grow closer over time since he was so obsessed with my blood. I thought maybe he'd tire of you and find love with me, but I should have known I could never compare to Rachel." She sneered. "When everything happened the night that you supposedly died, it was Calvin who had saved my life. I let myself believe that your death was my luck finally kicking in. I thought with you out of the picture we'd finally be together, but instead he cut me out altogether." She said with tears in her eyes. "I love him, but even a dead you was better than a live me to Calvin."

"Lexton, please just stop." I said. "I don't want to hear anymore."

She drew her brows together and took a step towards me. "Oh, I'm sorry." She said. "Is this uncomfortable for you? Hearing these things from me? Because you know what I found uncomfortable?" She said coldly. "Being fed on." She whispered. "That hurts, and hurts even more when you're tossed to the side right after." She told me. "Know what else kind of sucks, Rachel? Finding out after two years of trying to win him over that it had been his idea to send you away in the first place, and he still didn't want me. He loves you so much it is overwhelming to think about. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you. Call off the competition, Rachel. I don't want to go through this again."