One-Shots

Time

I heard a good news.
At first, I was excited and happy but I was afraid. It was the only good thing I heard first time in a very long time. I was afraid that it was not true. I was afraid that even if it's not that good, it's too good to be true. I was afraid it was like the other things that disguises themselves as good things to make you hope. I was afraid that it was just a lie. I was afraid of getting hurt over that. So many what if's that it made me forget to calm down. The feelings are all jumbled up. My stomach's in butterflies because I was so happy, but I felt like puking because of the what if's that pop up in my head that gave me anxiety.

I was ready to do more one last thing, and it turns out to be the sweetest lie.

I thought it was a 50-50, but I realized I didn't even had chance to begin with.

I was afraid of getting hurt so much, I hurt myself.

I thought that if I get it done sooner, it will hurt less but no, I realized that it won't change a damn thing.

I have so much to do and a very little time. I don't have time to cry and I have no one. I cried while I work because I don't have any time to waste. Even if I want to just go home and cry myself to sleep to feel better, I don't have any time.

I'm so tired, tired of being hurt and tired of waiting things to get better but just getting worse, I'm tired of every time my alarm wakes me up I'll get depress of the new day. There's nothing "new" about it, it's the same every goddamn time, I would change it but I don't have that choice nor chance because I'm handicapped.
I just don't have any time.

So I'll just end my time.