Growing Love

21

Dad decided to have everyone move into the family room to talk. The girls made some coffee and brought out some desserts. Marcus started a fire, and James helped Mickey to sit next to dad on a two sitter. Freddy wrapped Izzy in a blanket, and started rubbing her feet. I sat next to Ethan, who was holding a sleepy Nick. I would normally take him up to bed. But I wanted my son here with me. I want everyone I love here, while I think about the one person who is missing in this giant home.

"Carter?" I looked up, and notice everyone looking at me. "Son, we made a deal. If you aren't ready to talk about it, I can wait." I looked to my family, and my husband and son. I have changed from the little cry baby who used to follow his mom like a lost duck. I am a man now, with my own family. I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I need to be stronger. Not for me, but for them.

"I'm okay dad. Go ahead." He slowly nods, and takes a deep breath. I could see his hands shaking a little. He turns to look at Mickey and Freddy. I know this story, now it's their turn.

"First thing first. I think, she should be here for all of you to see." He went to his room, and came back with her photo. Seeing her again, her beautiful face. It brought back memories. My eyes started to tear up, but that was about it for now. Ethan rubbed circles in my back, even he didn't really know the story about my mom.

"Man! I almost forgot how beautiful she was!" Jenny was holding onto the picture, and her eyes started to water too. " I can almost remember the scent of her perfume." The picture went around, and everyone stared in awe at my mother. Val and Alastor were the last to see, and I saw a gentle smile grace Val's lips.

"Carter, you have her eyes." I smiled at that. I have always loved my eyes, because they are the eyes that I share with my mother. She handed the photo back to my dad, who handed it to Mickey.

"Her name was Serena, and she will forever be the love of my life. I knew her since we were children. She has always been by my side. I was a such a troublemaker when I was a little kid, and she was always the one keeping me in line. If she hadn't been in my life, I may not have even been able to help create all of this. I remember I used to have so many issues when I was young. I thought that my life was worthless, and there wasn't any hope for me. But with one smile, she was able to brighten up my life. One hug, and my cold heart would warm up. I wasn't nice to anyone but her. I was such a horrible father some times, she would be the one to help me back on the right path." I could see the pain in his eyes, from the memories of how distant we once were.

"You weren't horrible old man. I didn't exactly help you out with that when I got older." We smiled at each other, and he looked at Mickey. He took his hand, and held it in his.

"I'm sorry that you and Freddy won't be able to meet her, I know she would have loved you. But I promise that I will love you both enough for her too." Freddy got up and walked behind Mickey, and placed a hand on his shoulder, and smiled at our dad.

"Thanks dad." Freddy gave him a gentle and warm smile.

"T-t-thank you." Mickey held mom's photo close to his chest, and cried. I know how he feels. This feeling is also strange to me at times. With Mickey, I feel like he is the only one that will understand the most about this feeling with me. I went from having two incredible parents, to a estranged relationship with my dad, to this. Mickey went from a loving brother who took care of his every need, to a coma all alone, to waking up and having a whole family waiting for him. The feeling of being a lone one minute, and endlessly love the next is overwhelming.

"Carter." Ethan held my hand, and looked at me. He kissed my lips, and I swear to god he looked like an my angel again. His warmth calmed me down, and my heart beat went back to normal. This must be the effect that dad was talking about. Able to calm us down with one simple touch. Almost like magic. "I wish I could have meet her, she sounds really amazing and kind. Do you think she would have liked me? Or even agreed to let you be with me?" I kissed his cheek, and kissed Nick's forehead.

"I know she would have. It pains me that I can't fully remember my mom anymore, but I do remember her kind smile. My mom loved everyone and everything. I remember she used to tear up before meal sometimes, because she was sad for the animal that was killed for our food. She became a vegetarian after a little while. She got to know a homeless man she met one time, and helped get him a place to live and a job. She saved a family of kittens after the mother was run over. She played the piano every night to help me go to sleep. She volunteered at a shelter during Christmas morning because she wanted the children to have a happy Christmas. She even dressed up as Mrs. Clause, and had me and dad be Santa and a reindeer. She would hold me while I cried from a nightmare, and wake me up every morning with a kiss to remind me that she loved me. When she was in the hospital, she would call me every night to sing me to sleep. Even when I told her she should be resting herself, she would just keep on singing to me. Even when she was pale and clearly tired from all the medicine and pain, she would smile and ask me how my day was. She was so worried that she would forget, she wrote me a journal telling me every reason why she was happy I was in her life. I prayed every night for her to get better, and I would always wish for her to just go back to the way she was before she got sick. Even now, when I know that she is gone and in heaven. I still wish she would come back to me. I just want her to be here with us. With me." My voice started breaking, and my tears stained my jeans. I looked up when I heard sniffles, and saw my family crying at my memories. I feel blessed, don't get me wrong. I have things that most people can only ever dream of having. But I am selfish, I won't lie and say I am not. I want my mom back. I can almost picture her here with us, laughing and smiling by our side. She is the missing piece we need, and in a small part of my tainted heart. It will never feel complete without her here.

After a while we all went to bed tired, but I also somehow felt lighter. Like a heavy weight in my chest had been lifted. I don't know if it's because now there is nothing in my past they don't know. Or because they now know something that was only between me and my dad for the longest. All I know is my heart feels like it has more room to grow, and more room to love everyone that life has blessed me with.