It's You

Chapter 9

"I'm sorry, Didith. But I think you're in love with your friend," Carlo said.

"Huh? What are you saying?" I wasn't sure at first what he was trying to tell me.

"I asked you for a date so I can spend time with you. For us to get to know each other well. For you to realize that I'm serious in my intentions with you," he continued. "But all this time you've only been talking about your friend. Ben, right?"

I looked at him. I honestly didn't realize it. Was it really that obvious of me? I thought.

Carlo decided to take me home. We never dated again. He comes to the house now and then but only as a friend and not a suitor. And that made me glad because he understood my feelings.

Ben graduated and the more I felt lonely. He started working in a private company. After 2 years, I also graduated and started working in our business for 6 months. Then I studied again. It took me another 2 years to finish the second course. Glad that my other subjects have been credited. Real work came after that.

In between those years, Ben and I would see each other once in a while. And the more it hurt because I hadn't started to do anything to forget my feelings for him.

I knew I had to end my foolishness even though it would break my heart. But, hey, I had good and happy memories with him to hold on to. He surprised me on my 18th birthday. We roamed around the campus on his motorcycle many times. We watched a Jacky Chan movie. We had summer classes together. I spent a night with him in his apartment. I celebrated my 22nd birthday with him at Jollibee Masinag. Etcetera... etcetera... etcetera.

"So what are you going to do now?" Sarah asked. She had just come back from a year's work of traveling in different countries as a Sous Chef on a luxury ship.

"I don't know," I said. "Never thought falling in love would hurt this much."

"Well, it depends, my dear." She took out perfume and lotion out of her bag. There were also chocolates. "This is for Mother. The chocolates would be for the others."

"I have to get over him because it's making me sad whenever we see each other."

"Like what you said, you should start forgetting your feelings and not him. That is what makes you sad."

The next day, I decided to call Ben.

"What? You'll be leaving for Netanya? Where's that?" He asked in surprise.

"Um, it's in Israel. I have an aunt who's working there and I thought it'd be great to work there as well." Of course, that's a lie. But I did have an aunt who worked there.

He was silent for a while. Then he said, "It's great news. It'd be a good opportunity for you."

I was really upset when he told me that. I expected that he'd tell me not to go. And I hated myself for even assuming that he'd stop me from going. After that, our communication stopped. Just like that. No calls, no text messages. It was so sudden that I started to regret trying to forget my feelings for him.

Then one day, I chanced upon one of his brothers, Dan. He saw me eating in the Food Gallery of Farmer's Plaza. We talked about things. And out of the blue, he mentioned that Ben was going to get married sometime the following year.

"Wow! He must be really happy," I said trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

"He must be," he said casually. I smiled.

And I thought I needed to get out of here, fast. "Um, Dan, I better get going."

"Yeah, sure." He gave me a friendly hug and said goodbye. "You take care, okay?"

"Thanks."

I was quiet when I returned home. I went straight to bed and tried to sleep but I couldn't.

'Is he getting married?' was all I could think of at that time. True or not, I just can't stop thinking about it.

Suddenly, tears started to fall on my cheeks. I kept asking myself what happened between us, between the 'friendship' we have. All the while I thought we were so close to each other that he could tell me anything at all. I couldn't believe that he didn't tell me about it. It was so painful that my heart couldn't take it much longer.

And the reality of it all was I lost my first love...

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One more chapter guys and Part 2 will start.

Thank you for reading.

Enjoy!