It's You

Chapter 16

I didn't mean to hide that I don't have a girlfriend since three years ago. When someone asked if I did have one, they didn't believe me when I said no, so I just started saying yes.

And I didn't mean to hide it from Didith either.

When I told her I wanted a girlfriend in Los Banos, I thought I'd finally open up to her about my feelings and the truth about the girlfriend thing. I saw a ray of hope that she also had feelings for me when I saw her expression when I told her that I didn't need to look for one because I already had her as a companion.

My heart wouldn't stop beating so fast when she said she had someone she liked. But I was sure it wouldn't be me because she considers me as a big brother.

I've always wondered how it would be if we were in a relationship. I thought of her as someone I'd be living with for the rest of my life. Not that I would want to get married at that time. But I've thought of her as someone I'd be with for a lifetime.

"Aren't they sweet?" She said.

We stopped at the library one afternoon and saw a couple while holding hands. They were probably doing some project or homework and at the same time enjoying each other's company.

We sat in a corner beside the pillar. It was the only time that we went to the library together.

"Maybe." Then, I laughed. "You are such a nosy young girl."

"What's wrong with that? I'm just admiring them." Then we both laughed.

"But Didith, what's your ideal type of a guy?" I thought I wouldn't ask her but I did.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I guess, someone who can make me laugh and smile. And someone I can be honest with and be open to. Um, someone whom I can rely on but not pamper me so much that I'd be dependent on him. Ha, ha!"

She stopped for a second and looked from afar. "Someone who I can be with for the rest of my life, through ups and downs."

"Doesn't everyone want to be with someone they can be with for the rest of their lives?" I interrupted her.

"Yes, but, you know, someone you can see your future with. But I don't know. I can't properly explain it."

Listening to her, I wanted so much to speak my heart out. To tell her about what I feel for her.

But deep inside, I am unsure how she would react if I told her I like her. I was afraid of what she'd see me as. I was also hesitant because she mentioned that she already has someone she likes. 

"Didn't I tell you to talk this out with your dad? And I have to go here to get this exhaust pipe?"

It's my mom. My motorcycle broke and I needed a new exhaust pipe. 

I kissed her forehead. "Love you so much! I don't know if I can find someone like you."

"You only say you love me when you need something," she said while pushing me away from her.

I didn't let go and instead hugged her tight. "Okay, enough! I should be going now. Your father will be waiting for me at Canlubang by four."

I watched her while walking down the stairs. Just then, Didith entered the lobby. I was about to run down to introduce her to my mom when I saw her smiling and opening her mouth. It was clear that she was talking to my mom but I'm not good at lip-reading so I let it pass.

"Can we stay in the court for a while, Didith?" I asked her one night. We just had dinner and I don't want to go back to the dorm yet.

"Sure." 

It's an outdoor basketball court where you can hear the crickets and the frogs at night. The canopy (of the trees) was covering the sky so it was hard to see the stars. We sat on one of the benches but I wondered why it was only us during that night. I thought this was good. 

I laid down on the bench but found it hard on my head so I pulled her towards me and used her lap as a pillow. "Don't mind our dormmates if they see us here," I told her. She nodded.

I closed my eyes. 

She brushed my hair, then stopped and let out a heavy sigh. 

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