It's You

Chapter 19

"What? You'll be leaving for Netanya? Where's that?" I asked in surprise.

"Um, it's in Israel. I have an aunt who's working there and I thought it'd be great to work there as well." Didith said. I felt something weird about it. It was so sudden that it left me silent for a few minutes.

Then I said, "It's great news. It'd be a good opportunity for you."

"Thanks, Ben."

When she hung up, all I could ask was, "Why did she have to leave?" I tried to think of possible reasons why she only told me about it when she was about to leave.

But more than that, I was so mad at myself for not taking that chance to tell her exactly how I felt about her.

There were no calls and no text messages from her. I didn't even try to contact her because I was afraid she might not answer her phone or reply to my messages.

It was so sudden and heartbreaking for me that I wanted to just forget her and everything about her.

Out of sadness, I told my brothers that I'd marry Brenda. Of course, that's a lie. It came out of my mouth when we were in our room. My oldest brother didn't take it seriously, though. He said I'm just brokenhearted and that it'll pass after a few days.

He knew I'd fallen for Didith. He saw me looking lovingly at her when he visited our dorm when I was still living there. He teased me once but never said a thing about it to our other siblings. He even advised me to be honest with her about my feelings but I didn't mind him at that time.

When Dan, one of my brothers, came home one night, he told me that he bumped into Didith and mentioned that I'd be getting married to Brenda. I didn't know what to say. I never expected they'd accidentally see each other. I was even surprised that she hadn't left yet.

"I may be thinking wrong, but I felt like there was something different with Didith. She was smiling yet you know that she's not feeling well."

I was just quiet while listening to him. He threw his clothes in the laundry bin.

"Maybe she's tired," I eventually said. I was already in bed when he came.

"Thought so." Dan got his cell phone and went to the door. "I'll have my dinner first."

"Go ahead," I muttered while looking at the ceiling.

I wanted to call her right at that moment.

Hesitated.

In the end, I slept with a heavy heart.

A knock on the door one afternoon and it was Max.

"Want one?" he asked.

I didn't look at him but I could see him in my peripheral view. He sat on the couch.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Max was eating a freshly baked ensaymada he bought in the nearby bakery.

"I don't know. I would just like to forget about her, that's all." I was watching the news on channel 7.

"Like I told you, man, you should have talked to her before when you've got the chance." He stood up, opened the fridge, and took out a bottle of water.

"Can we just stop talking about her? I want to forget her, okay?"

He continued eating his ensaymada like he didn't hear me.

"Also, I don't think I have any chance with her. I mean, she already has someone she likes. I guess it's one of the reasons why I felt she was avoiding me."

I turned off the television and went to our room. Max followed me bringing his bag of bread.

I sat on my bed and looked out the window.

"I lost her, Max. I lost the chance to even tell her I love her."

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