Princesses of Equestria

Chapter 3: Twilight's Letter

Packed full to bursting, the Ponyville Express tooted valiantly, chugged to life, and lurched off the station. At first the overstuffed steam engine, weighed down by the majority of its hometown's populace, could've been outpaced by an exhausted old mule with a game leg.

Then, somepony had the bright idea of spiking the engine's boiler with zap apple cider. Thunderclouds belched out the funnel. Wheels blurred. The driver whooped, his inner foal achieving instant nirvana. A cheetah couldn't have outpaced the Ponyville Express now!

Inside, some passengers (like Mayor Mayor) clung on for dear life. Others (like the Cutie Mark Crusaders and almost every foal on board) cheered in delight. A select few (like Granny Smith, a bagful of fresh bits now occupying her cider box) slept through the whole thing. And near the rear of the Express a pair of royal guards rattled in place, their faces green.

Muffled whispers crept from the Princess's royal carriage: clipped instructions, bewildered queries, patient clarifications, and the occasional streamer toot, followed by the occasional "eek!"

"Captain Sentry, sir?" said guard one with a frown. "Did somepony just say 'dancing bear', sir?"

"Corporal Firmhoof, for my own peace of mind, I stopped listening after 'party cannon'," said guard two. "I suggest you do likewise."

"Yessir!" said guard one and, without breaking stance, took off his helmet and threw up in it. Guard two bristled at the smell, turning a shade greener.

"Um. Sirs? I brought ginger tonic." A yellow hoof opened the door, and timidly offered them two phials of refreshing herbal drink.

"Much obliged, ma'am," said both guards gratefully, downing the spicy mix. Their faces' shades returned to normal.

"Um. You're welcome." The yellow hoof retrieved the tonic phials and zipped out of sight, quick as a rabbit down a hole.

"Shame about the helmet," said guard one, grimacing at his puke-filled skullcap. "It was my best one—"

"Sirs? I brought chaos magic." A bear's paw opened the door, and snapped two claws. Unspeakable eldritch energies crackled and popped. From them, new life was born.

"Freedom!" said guard one's breakfast, and jumped out the window. There was no splat.

"Much obliged ... uh ... sir?" said guard one, putting on his pristinely clean helmet with shaking hooves.

"Don't mention it." The bear's paw cheerily raised a thumb and crept out of sight, inexorable as a great old one returning to its cyclopean lair.

"Peace of mind," said both guards, staring straight ahead, their faces sheet white. "Peace of mind ..."

On the Ponyville Express chuffed, Canterlot mountain looming ever closer. The driver used the last of his cider, anxious to arrive on time. Foals goggled through window panes. Parents hurriedly gathered belongings. The Cutie Mark Crusaders discussed with great zeal and greater volume what Cutie Marks they'd get at the Spring Equinox Festival, giving Mayor Mare a headache. Big Mac tried to wake Granny Smith, tried again, gave up, and slung her onto his gourmet apple platter wagon. Outside Princess Twilight's carriage, a pair of royal guards stood at attention, stiff as statues, ignoring the whispering.

Abruptly, the whispers stopped. The guards, faces sweating slightly, ignored that too and resumed their mantra.

"We broke thirty," said Pinkie Pie, listening at the door. "Pay up." She gestured sharply at a mound of fur that filled an entire corner of the lavish compartment.