Princesses of Equestria

Chapter 12: Escape From Canterlot

Sixteen, Discord counted mentally, just for a lark. Fifteen ...

"Armonia," Luna intoned with signature grimness.

"Queen Eponia preserve us," Celestia sighed with signature portentousness. "She's finally come home."

No way could Discord resist straight lines like those. Pulling two superhero handpuppets from non-existent pockets, he unleashed his signature snark.

"Why hello Captain Obvious," Discord said cheerily, making the caped crusaders shake mitts. "Meet Captain I. Canseethat."

A nauseating wave of déjà vu threw Discord off his game. He'd heard these words before. Said them before. Done this before. Nausea turned to pain, sudden and biting. He blinked—

—then his puppets shook mitts in the firelight while somepony screamed and screamed—

—then Discord found himself back in that dusty palace bedchamber, beset by a fresh migraine. "Another one?!" he muttered sullenly. "Accursed flashback headache ... things." A condition was what they were. A perplexing psychological allergy with only one trigger:

Princess Armonia.

Discord shivered from a discomfort he didn't quite understand. It had been the same way in Ponyville. Whenever he'd been directly exposed to her; visually, audibly, or via a magical projection, his memories sent projections of their own. Broken fragments of a day Celestia and Luna recalled so clearly, and he scarcely recalled at all.

And frankly he didn't want to, if trying to do so meant exposing himself to more pain. Which, by extension, meant not exposing himself to Armonia. A somewhat difficult proposition given that she'd besieged Canterlot palace with an army of fear elementals, and had just threatened to personally kick down the gates. The ward. The giant pink force field bubble. Whatever. Discord assessed Cad-dunce and Whining Harder's last line of defense. It looked like the inside of his head: cracked, throbbing, and liable to shatter from the slightest noise.

"TEN SECONDS."

"Gah! Foaluvvamare!"

While Discord nursed his throbbing brow, a phobomantic thunderbolt struck from the blackness enclosing Canterlot. Protective energies shrieked in protest. One whole side of the ward went opaque from fractures. If Cad-Dunce and Whining's aggrieved yells were any indication, Discord wasn't the only person suffering from migraine troubles.

Beside him, Fluttershy, Twilight, Pinkie and the rest of Team Group Hug fidgeted anxiously, reaching the same conclusion that Discord himself just had. Canterlot's giant pink force field bubble was moments from popping. When it did, Canterlot's metaphorical goose was cooked. Along with anypony still foolish enough to stay in the oven. Discord could tell Celestia and Luna reached that particular conclusion when they magicked themselves up two suits of battle armor, and switched from ancient history lecture to evacuation klaxon.

"Attention everypony!" Celestia bellowed with such prodigious volume that she did, indeed, get everypony's attention. And split Discord's skull like a ripe watermelon, the insensitive swine. "Attention! Evacuate Canterlot immediately! Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor, take all non-fliers to the Crystal Empire!"

On the courtyard, the ramparts, and throughout the palace, ponies hastened to obey their Princess's deafening command. Duncy and Whiny, along with Captain Flash 'Peace of Mind' Sentry and Corporal 'Puke Helmet' Firmhoof, had civvies boarding the Express in record time.

Oh! That reminds me ...

"Fluttercottage," Discord hollered. "All aboooard!" Canterlot lawn's new treehouse uprooted itself, slithered harmlessly past shocked escapees, and re-rooted itself securely atop the luggage compartment.