Dear Secrets, Please Fly Quietly

1) The One Meeting I'm Late To

"Hermesss." Martha whispered in my ear. I groaned, but remained motionless. "Hermesssss. Wake up."

"No." I mumbled, still half asleep. "Leave me alone."

She sighed and curled herself tighter around my caduceus. "George, he's not waking up. Time for Plan B."

"He never wakess up with Plan A. Plan B is Plan A." George hissed gently.

Martha shrugged. Well, as much as an armless, shoulder-less reptile can. So she dipped her head low.

Both snakes (yes, I sleep with live snakes coiled around me) counted down in unison and then stuck their forked tongues in my ears.

"Ah!" My blue eyes flew open just as George and Martha released me. I landed on my back on a marble floor, nearly breaking my neck. "Ow, ow, ow! My wings!" I carefully unfolded seven and a half feet of white feathers behind me. They were alright. Technically my wingspan is 15" 6'. But let me explain something to all you nerds out there. Shoulder blades. 7.5 feet per wing x 2 wings = a 15 foot wingspan. But my scapulars (part of wings closest to mid-back) don't touch. In short, each wing is seven and a half feet long, but there's also a 6-inch space between them.

This was my normal morning routine. I can only sleep upside down and in absolute silence, so I hang from the ceiling by my caduceus. That's the winged staff with two snakes, George and Martha, coiled around it. Then they, um, rudely wake me up. But I digress.

After the pain had generally dissipated, I stood up and smoothed my unruly blonde hair down. Unlike my best friend Apollo's, it's normal length for a boy. Meaning it takes two seconds and a bit of saliva to fix. I righted my wonderful staff of awesomeness that said best friend made as a gift for stealing two of his cows. Long story.

I flew out of my room and skirted the domed ceiling of Olympus. Oh right, mortal houses don't work like that. I'll break it down. It's kind of like my room is on the second floor of a house, minus the actual floor. So you walk through the doorway into empty space, for which wings are helpful. I turned myself sideways and flew/ran on the ceiling/wall. Hanging from the middle of the ceiling (or floor, in my case), is a huge chandelier. Which I decided to climb for three reasons: It was there. Chandeliers are fun the climb on. And I can do it without breaking anything. It hung down over the center of the Olympian Council. Ha, ha. I mean Zeus' dictatorship.

The chandelier was made of large metal rings, each smaller than the last and laced with Celestial bronze, Stygian Iron and a little Imperial gold. I had gotten all to the way to the lowest ring, hanging by my knees, when Athena saw me. She whispered harshly. "Get down from there. You're late."

"Well the meeting isn't supposed to start until everyone is there. My absence prevents the meeting from starting, so I literally can't be late." I counter, rather pleased with my defense.

"Hermes, get down."

I shook my head. "I like up, well down-" I frowned, trying to come up with a word for my current state. "I like it upside-down here."

"No, Hermes. I mean get down because-"

I hear it before Athena finished. A creaking, cracking sound. I looked up, or down in my case. "Oh, Styx."

By this time, all of the Olympians had noticed me and the chandelier that was about to fall. I shifted my weight to try to pull myself up and off. But the small movement was too much. There was a snap and I fell. Pain erupted in left wing, much more than falling earlier. Aphrodite, Apollo and some others screamed. I squeezed my eyes closed, mumbling "Please stop, please stop, please stop."

Seconds went by and nothing happened. No crash, no (more) pain. I opened my eyes and blinked. There was the broken chandelier, but it was suspended in mid-air a foot from my head. I sighed in relief and telekinetically willed it to go back up.