Dear Secrets, Please Fly Quietly

21) Déjà Vu

I felt nothing, nothing at all. Rolling over in the large white bed, I opened my blue eyes. As predicted, Persephone was there.

She smiled at me as a trademark floral scent washed over me. "Hello again, Hermes. I'm glad you're awake. Again."

I frowned, fingering a corner of the blanket. "I'm dead, aren't I?" It was more of a statement.

Persephone didn't bother replying and instead, called Hades over. He appeared before she had finished speaking and punctuated the sentence with a peck on her cheek.

Narrowing her eyes, I was sure Persephone would backhand her husband, but my presence seemed to distract the not-so-lovebirds.

"Hermes!" Hades said suddenly. "Hi! Welcome to the Underworld! Again. What are you doing here again?!" The god's expression went from mild excitement, to confusion to annoyance in about ten seconds.

I ran my fingers through my blonde hair. "Ha, ha! About that... I died. Again."

"Well, I know- But why- How-"

We sat in silence, no one knowing what to say, until Hades frowned. "I guess you want to go to Olympus and see if we can get this all sorted out?"

I nodded. "But before we go, I'd like to know what I'm going into. Is everyone healed?"

"Yes." Hades said curtly.

"It worked!"

"Yes."

"So, everything's back to normal? Aside from me dying? Again?"

"Yes."

Catching on to his answers, I tried my luck. "Can I get better payment for delivering dead souls?"

"Yes."

"Really?!"

"Yes."

Again, I pressed the envelope. "Five dollars per?"

"No."

"One dollar?"

Hades smiled. "Yes."

Well that takes care of that. "Okay, then onto Olympus! Where I guess I will be resurrected. Again. Styx, I am getting some much déjà vu right now! Aren't you?"

"Yes."

With that, we teleported to Olympus. Everything was like the first time, minus everyone ignoring me and the worldwide crisis. So, the déjà vu pretty much ended when I left the Underworld.

"Hermes, you're dead. Again." Zeus remarked when he saw me. Flatly, he added, "I can't restore you so don't even ask."

I swear the sound of my glass hopes shattering was audible. At least, I heard it. "What?! Is it April Fool's Day or something? Did I miss my own birthday?"

Eleven heads shook side to side around me. This was no joke. "What Zeus means," Athena clarified. "-is he can restore you, but not fully." She cast an uncertain glance at her father.

He sighed. "Do you want me to restore what I can?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course!"

Everyone moved backward in preparation. As before, a blinding light erupted into the room. I felt the same terrible pain I had the first time, but something was off. I felt constricted inside my own body, crammed tighter and tighter. I was sure something would break or my lungs would explode. Then, it was over.

I became accustomed to the limitations of my dark world and everything was okay. My wings brushed my back, their feathers a familiar comfort. I curled into a ball, content.

"Hermes, I'm sorry."

I opened my crystal blue eyes. 'What?'

"Hermes." Zeus said again. "That was as much as I could do." He took the mirror Aphrodite was using and set it on the ground in front of me, much to her dismay. "I can only fully restore you once. You have to complete it on your own. You have to live out your life. Again."

I looked into the mirror. This was as much as he could do? I have to relive my life? From here? I gasped, staring at my reflection. Horror, fear, uncertainty, and hopelessness washed over me until the waves were too much. Tears spilled from my eyes as I threw my head back and wailed to the sky.

Copying my movements in the mirror, was a one-year-old in a diaper.