Unfortunate: K&G

Great Endings < Better Beginings : Journal Entry📓

11:04
"This is weird... we didnt speak . We didnt even make eye contact. We just spent one last night together... just being together. No conversation. No emotions. We were silent. What else could be said. Like shit. I honestly wish i could trust her. I honestly wish i could believe her but i couldnt. And i was okay. With that. I had a new beginnings. With a new person that embodies everything i ever wanted like wtf . I aint confused or lost or torn... im just tryna stay realistic. Keep things in perspective. Gee is where im at noe. Bri is where my past is. Where the hurt is. Like the person who hurt me the most....had the softest spot in my heart.... there was nothing I wouldn't do for her but now I understand that i have to love her from a far. Love her as a friend... nothing more. I know once i tell my best friend she's gonne assume i abandoned the connection i have with Gee and thats not the case, i needed my closure. And if us laying together separately is the closure im okay with that. The fact that she did stay outside and wait for me to get off work and leave her bitch says a lot. But you know ...? Its a little too late for me. I cant be on hold cause she wanna spread her lil hoe wings and fly around with these other hoes. Im too good for that. I know i deserve somebody who gonna be there and stay there . And not on no wishy washy shit either... fuck yo.... im soo lost for words 😩😩
Like why did she have this hold on me. I aint want a relationship but i wanted to keep her as a friend I literally told her everything like... and not even gone mention this morning/last night like faaaack yo . I honestly thought we were just enjoying our last moments together...but i guess she felt otherwise. This was the real Sabrina. The sabrina that i had soo much sexual chemistry with. I taught her so much and she taught me so much also... i dont know what came over her . Cause we had an agreement that she'd never go down on me.... but i guess things change when you realize everything thing you were looking for has been with you everyday for 4 consecutive years... im still stuck on how i was low key dominated... i dont mind that but Sabrina was just 1009% submissive... so idk shit was different, i felt weird but none the less i didnt mind. I guess thats how you end a breakup for good. There aren't any doors left open. No feelings of " oh i just wanna bussa ting with her one time to get it out my system" it was done we spent our last night together , had our last kiss , our last conversation and out last sexual encounter.
And honestly everything is out of my system. Im no longer worried bout her and her where bouts.
This was great ending . And im finally ready for a greater beginning .
Not to mention im ready to read the
KFax that Gee sent me 😋
But lets hope school is productive and work is a breeze. And Gee not mad at me about the delay in my reply"