Jilly short stories

You were meant for me

READ THIS----
about half way down there's a clip of a song that you can play while you read. Please play it as I think it goes well with the story and iv show you the point to start it at so it should finish around the same time you fusing reading. Enjoy ;)

Lily's POV
It's been 3 months since iv seen James.
We've both been really busy being in the order of the phenix and the undercover things we have to do means sometimes some of us are gone for weeks at a time. Voldemort is gaining power and it's becoming apparent that this war isn't going away anytime soon, theres talk of some sort of prophecy but right now it's hard to know what to believe. All we know is that if there is one we'll all do whatever it takes to make sure Voldemort doesn't win.
He will be defeated.

Me and James broke up a couple days before he left. It was a mutual decision but that doesn't mean it wasn't hard. There's been a lot of arguments between us all recently.
With the stress of being in the order and information continuously being leaked to the death eaters we're all finding it difficult to know who came be trusted.
There's a lot of tension between the boys and everyone was starting to turn on each other.
It all just got to much and eventually me and James started to argue more and more, I know things were said in the heat of the moment and all of the problems we were having were probably down to stress but I can't forget the last time I saw him.

Flash back
"James I can't do this anymore I haven't seen you in days. What's going on" I shout angrily.
James looks horrified and hesitates before answering. "I...i...it's not working" he says with a hint of regret in his voice.
"Yeah iv noticed" I scowl.
He stays silent.
"Well what do you want to do about it? Do you still love me James because it getting pretty hard to know?" I can feel the tears threatening to fall but I have to stay strong.
"I don't know.. maybe I don't anymore."
I can't control them now, tears stream down my face as I stare at him blankly.
"I don't even know you anymore. Just go James. I'm done. I'm completely done.
I knew you'd hurt me James Potter and I can't believe how stupid I was to ever think this would work" I scream.
"I..I have to go" he says coldly.

Present time
He disappeared a day later and know ones heard from him since, dumbeldoor has almost completely shut himself off as well. Something in him clicked when James left, I've never seen him worried before but for some reason James going on that particular mission scared him.
Know one else knows what or where it is so we can't contact him until he comes back. If he comes back.

Since then I haven't been needed and in all honestly I haven't felt like even leaving the house much but recently iv started to get on with my life and although it's a long time coming I think I might be able to get over him.

I wrap my fingers around the warm mug in my hands and stare out the window.
The snows falling fast and I can hardly see the road anymore.
Being alone so much really makes it hard to not think about James but I know I have to be strong, he doesn't love me.
But it's near impossible to believe that what we had wasn't real.
{Play song now}

I miss James so much, so much it hurts. I spent to long denying my feels for him to finally give I and then have all my fears come true is physically hurting me, it's like I can feel my heart breaking.
But I won't let this defeat me, I love James and I might have lost him or I might never have had him but I will be in the war that defeats all of our enemy. I'm my eyes Voldemort destroyed the relationship I have with the person I love most in the world.
I miss James but I know I have to carry on. I have to.

I hear the cat scratching at the door so I go to let her out.
When I open the door I notice a newspaper that's fallen apart spread across my front garden. I sigh and go to pick it up,
As I gather the last of the pages I turn to call the cat back into the house but as I look out into the deserted street of godric hollow I see him, standing at the gate.
"J..James" I stutter amazed to be seeing him.
"Hello Lily" his irresistible voice says.
At the sight of him all of him I feel all of the feeling iv been pushing down for the last 3 months come flooding back.
"No, no no no" I almost cry at I turn away from him, but before I can go back inside and try to forget ever seeing him I'm stopped by his pleases.
"Lily wait"
"What? What could you possibly want James?
You disappear for months without a word, no one knew where you were or what you were doing." He opens his mouth to answer but I don't let him.
"What else is there to say you made it quite clear how you feel before you left"
His gaze locked on me is making it almost unbearable not to leap into his arms.
"Like you said you don't love me anymore so at least give me a chance at trying to get over you"
I turn again but hesitate at the door for a second, although my head is screaming that I hate him, that he's no good for me every fibre in my body is praying that he tries to stop me.
"Lily I do love you"
"Don't you dare lie to me James" I warn looking back at him.
"I'm not lying" he tells me as he opens the gate and walks towards me.
"No stop right there" I demand, he stops where he is only a few paces away.
"I'm not lying, I love you Lily and I'm so sorry I made you think otherwise" the sincerity in his voice sends a shooting pain through my chest.
"Then why did you say all of that before, why did you leave" I say the last part in all most a whisper even now when he's stood in front of me it hurts to think of the days when I realised I might never see him again.
"I had to"
"Why" I ask trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. It didn't work.
"I got into a dual with a death eater a week before I left , he said that Voldemort had more power than we knew and I was a personal enemy, something to do with snape. And that he was going to kill me and everyone I cared about. Of cause I wasn't going to go down without a fight but look what they've done already, we've lost so many people. Marlene being one of them" the memory of Marlene is distressing for all of us. I loved Marlene like a sister and I couldn't protect her, non of us could. I think that was the breaking point for all of us.

"We couldn't save her and I knew you would be no different. They said since I was an enemy of snape I'd probably be one of the next targeted but they hoped to get you and some of the others on their side. But if you sided with me they'd kill you" I can see his eyes beginning to water as well and I feel my self talking small steps towards him.
"You said you didn't love me" I repeat, if this is true I need to hear him say the words.
"I had to, it was the only Way you'd let me go, I had to leave as well. Even with my letting you think I didn't love you anymore I knew you wouldn't let anything happen to me" he too is getting closer and closer to me.
"So all of those things you said. They weren't true?" I ask wanting to clarify what I think he's saying.
"No they couldn't be less true. I love you Lily Evans always have always will"
I take a shaky breath and try to hold back my tears.
"I...I thought" I can't even get my words out as I feel the warm slaty liquid begin to stream down my cheeks, something I'm used to happening almost every night but this time it's different I'm letting out every emotion and feeling iv had over the last few month as well as the relief that of what he's just said.
James reaches out and pulls me into a tight hug, I burry my head in his chest and breath in the scent iv missed so much.
"Wait how are you here now then" I ask looking up at him.
"Dumbelboor found me and told me that while I thought I was protecting you by going out on my own I was causing you just as much pain by leaving and doing what I did"
"He was right" I laugh weakly.

I stand silently wrapped safely in James's arms as the snow falls around us.
"I'm so sorry Lily, you be no idea how much I regret doing what I did and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I promise. I love you so much"
His voice cracks at the end and I can tell how sorry he is.
"I love you too James but we were having problems before this. I....I don't know if I can go back to that"
He strokes my cheek lovingly and kisses away a tear.
"I know we had problems but Lily I'm not going to let you go again, I won't ever give up on what we have. I'm completely in love with you Lily and there's no one else for me but you.
I was an idiot and it might be hard for a while but we will get through this. We're supposed to me together. You were meant for me Lily and I was meant for you. We will be okay." His reassuring and loving tone melts away my pain.
More tears run down my face but this time it's because I'm so happy.
I laugh slightly with relief, take a deep breath, and stretch up to kiss him.
"Well that's good because...I'm pregnant"