Silent Boy | Phan

//chapter eight//

I screamed.
Louise put her hand on my shoulder.
"Shh Phil, it's okay!"
Her physical touch comforted me.

I smiled.
"I knew he was lying."

"I knew you weren't dead."

Louise's expression changed to one I couldn't describe.
Disappointment?
Fear?
Concern?

"Phil?"
I looked up at her eyes.

"I'm sorry Phil, but they were right."

I froze.
How could they be right?

"But you're right here!"
Louise smiles a sad smile.
"I'm not really. I'm here for you."

"I got hit by a car when we were ten.
You were standing on the other side of the road.
You saw it all, Phil."

I feel my eyes begin to water.
"But I'd remember something like that! Wouldn't I?"
Louise shook her head.

"Your brain hides it from your memory.
To protect you.
Everytime someone tells you I'm dead,
Your brain doesn't store it.
It's like a permanent concussion."

I paused.
"I don't understand, Lou."
She bites her lip.
"I know. I know, Philip."

"Just know that I'm not really here.
But I love you a lot.
More than words can say."

"Will I still see you? Now that I know?"
I run a finger underneath my eye, collecting the teardrops.
"Probably not, my darling."
Louise holds a hand over her face to hide her tears as well.

"I love you so much, my little Philip."

When I blink, she is gone.

Louise, my Louise, my best friend, my childhood.
Gone.

I cry.
I sob.
I scream.
I hyperventilate.
I pull my hair.
I smash my fists into the ground.
I cry some more.

"Why did you have to go?"

I feel someone grab my hand, and touch their hand to my forehead.
Dan.
I can see his question in his eyes.

Are you okay?

"No. No, I'm not, Dan.
I lost my best friend."

He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up.
He kisses my forehead, reminiscent of what I did to him that morning.
I felt safe in his arms.

Dan stood up, still grasping my hand.
He goes to pull me up.
Realising what Dan is doing, I rock back on my heels and stand up as he pulls again.
I am standing extremely close to him.

More than friends kind of close.

I wrap my arms around Dan's neck.
He flinches at the contact.
Sensitive spot.

I press my lips to his.

Dan traces my cheekbones with one hand, and the other tangles itself in my hair.
He pulls my head in closer to his.

He kisses me back with fire.
What was a simple kiss has become complete passion.

I'm kissing Daniel Howell.

For real.

//AN
thanks so much for 100 reads everyone! hope this cute lil ending is enough of a celebration :)
-AN//