What if he's mine, but i'm not his?

268 10 2

by Simon-Nevo

by Simon-Nevo

Okay so, you guys wanted an highschool au. So here it is, an highschool au, just for y'all
(based on starring role)
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(Casp pov)

You're hard to hug, tough to talk to.
And I never fall asleep.
When you're in my bed,
all you give me is a heartbeat.

What if he's mine, but I'm not his? That's the question I ask myself everyday. What if Joe Sugg, the popular, buff, but not too buff, hot 12th grader is mine, but I'm not his. Me, Caspar Lee, the nerdy, not in shape guy who almost has no friend, is an 11th grader, and hopelessly in love with Joe Sugg. I always try to talk to him but he never notices, I doubt he even knows I exist, for he may not have even seen me after that one night.

I've turned into a statue.
And it makes me feel depressed.
Cause the only time you open up,
is when we get undressed.

There was this party going on, and I guess i drank a lot because I almost don't remember anything. I remember that there were a lot of people I don't know, music I didn't like and a smell of alcohol and cigarettes

*flashback to the party*

"Ugh why did I even bother coming, I don't know anyone in her Dan." I ask Dan, the person person who got me to go to this shite party in the first place. "Because it's fun Casp, and, it's a good opportunity to get to know new people, how d'you think I got to know Phil?" "I thought it was Grindr but oh well, same thing" He rolls his eyes at that at leaves me because he had Phil waiting on the couch for hours now. I slowly make my way to the living room, dancing through the croud of drunk and high people, I even think I saw someone puking. Once I got through all the people, I got in the kitchen. Apparently I took a wrong turn then. But I don't have time to mind that because suddenly Joe Sugg has fallen into my arms, out of the blue. "DaNKs Fur CaTChiNg mE BeAUty" He says before giving me a sloppy kiss. It doesn't last long. Just under 5 seconds. But it only took those 5 seconds to make me fall in love.

*End of flashback*

You don't love me, big fucking deal
I'll never tell you how I feel
You don't love me, not a big deal
I'll never tell you how I feel

He hasn't talked to me since that kiss. He hasn't notice me. He hasn't even tried to contact me. But here I am, sad and depressed because he doesn't love me. Why oh why does my heart need to want me dead. I hate feeling like this. I hate it, I hate falling in love. I mean it's a nice feeling, unless they don't even acknowledge your existence. So here I am again. Lying in bed on a gloomy friday evening, wondering why love hurts and why I fall so quickly. I try to make him notice me so I could be the starring role in his heart. But he never notices.

It almost feels like a joke, to play out a part When you are not the starring role,
in someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone, than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role

o here I'm lying, dagger dead, inside a lonely bed. (A/n TRYING TO HIDE, THE HOLE INSIDE MY HEAD. okay I'll stop) I try to get some sleep but suddenly I hear my phone beep and light up. I let my eyes adjust to the bright light that my phone screen. Once my eyes are adjusted, I don't believe my own eyes.....

-----------end of story (part 1)-----------

DID Y'ALL LIKE THIS?
I HOPE SO
I THINK THIS WAS LIKE 9/11 WORTHY
JK LIKE 6/6
BYE (^.^)
CÛMSLUTS