AN: What's up guys! I missed you! Is that weird? O_o
Hey so how awesome was the fact that the last VicTORIous episode had so much JORI content?! So much potential for fics! If anyone writes one based on it, please be sure to let me know! :D
Alright, on with this fic... Enjoy!
Tori
Three days.
It's been almost three whole days since I've seen or talked to Jade. Well, sixty-one hours and forty-six minutes exactly, but who's counting?
Ever since Yerba, there's never been a day when we haven't talked or communicated in some way or another, so I feel like I'm going through withdrawals or something. Not only because I miss her terribly, which of course I do, but because of the reason why we've been purposefully keeping our distance from one another.
Sixty-one hours and, now forty-seven minutes, and I'm going absolutely insane.
We had left the cabin early on Sunday since Andre needed to return the van we had used to his uncle by nine that morning. This proved to be quite a difficult task since everyone, except for Jade and Robbie, had killer hangovers from the night before. Beck was the worse of us all though… He looked as bad as I felt knowing I was in a way responsible for him being in this state. He didn't seem to recall anything from the night before, and I couldn't help but be relieved by this, which in turn caused me to feel even worse.
Jade had been the first to be dropped off, and she had managed to give me a small hesitant smile and nod unbeknownst to anyone before walking off towards her house; a silent understanding of what we'd talked about the night before, then she was gone.
And we hadn't spoken since. Both she and Beck were absent from school on Monday, and given that today is a holiday, school was out so I hadn't seen her either.
And it's killing me.
It's torture knowing she's with him. That he's probably making her laugh, and smile, and… be all happy. Reminding her of all the things that made her fall for him in the first place. And little by little, he'll start pushing me out of the picture, out of her mind, out of her life…
Jeez, Tori… Dramatic much?
Ugh, but I can't help it! A million different scenarios run through my mind every minute that passes without talking to her. I have to keep telling myself that there is the possibility that she'll realize she's still in love with Beck and had just confused our close friendship for something else… That that's all it was, a mistake; and if I'm lucky, she'll tell me that she really hopes we can remain friends.
And I'll have to accept it. I'll have to accept it because I want her to be happy. And Beck makes her happy. So I'll be happy for her. But just thinking about it makes my heart feel like it's being torn apart by a giant pair of rusty scissors.
I have to keep fighting the urge to text her, to call her, to run over to her house, break down the door, run up the stairs to her room, kick that door in, pull Beck away from her (because I'm certain he's in there with her right now), punch him in that perfect face of his, and give her the best kiss she's ever gotten, putting all previous ones from Beck to shame. And then she'll see… she'll see that she belongs with me.
I press my face into my pillow as my nails claw angrily at the covers on my bed; the bed I've been laying in for the majority of the day torturing myself with my own thoughts. I couldn't do anything else, even if I tried. I've barely eaten anything since Sunday, and even then it was only because my mom forced me to. After finally convincing her that I was sure I'd caught a bug or something during our camping trip and probably just needed to rest, she left me alone, only checking in on me occasionally to make sure I was still breathing. And honestly, even that is becoming more and more difficult to do with the giant pressure I feel on my chest.
