downtown galaxy - my poetry

i saw you today,

pink hair and flannel shirt and bold eyeliner and really, not all that different from what i remember

but the pink's a little darker

and the flannel doesn't hang as loosely anymore

and your eyes are suddenly a lot more dangerous than i could imagine

ridiculous, of course. my first instinct to turn away and hope you don't see me, but my second

run up to you

with the plastered-on smile i haven't worn in months ( i really thought i grew out of it )

the familiar crushing feeling of holding myself back from your judgement but at the same time so at ease

ask and catch up and ugh, we haven't talked in forever

but i know what you've done to me, said about me

what possesses me to be anywhere near you ever again?

i didn't talk to you, and i want that to be me knowing better this time around

you'll always be there, in halls and in corners with your venom whispers and barbed words and

god, someday, someday, i won't be able to find it within myself to care

and i won't be counting the days

having learned long ago what a waste it was to be counting on you.