downtown galaxy - my poetry

what we had

what did we have? secrets and stupid jokes and bellyaching laughter and whispered phone calls and endless promises of traveling, seeing the world, together

i didn't realize that you were changing because i was changing right along with you. it was always you and me, against him when he showed his ugly side, against her when we had to have someone to dump all of our self-hatred onto, against another him when we just got bored and cruel

and then something else changed, and i stepped away for a second and got a good look at what we had become. it's not any more your fault than mine- we both grew up and twisted and hated

well, we've both fucked up, and i'm not going to deny any of the bad decisions i made but fuck i could write a book on the far-reaching effects of your ill-informed choices. you've ruined things for so many others, so much for me-

i can't stand to be around you. we'd joke about being so physically comfortable around each other, but now your touch makes me flinch. i'm not afraid of you anymore, but isn't the worst feeling in the world regretting pouring your heart out to someone you thought you could trust?

sometimes i ache for the days of whispers and songs and promises and cotton candy hair

but the people i have- they're better. the people i have now, i trust more than i ever trusted you.

the people i have now, i can't be a judge of morality, but they're better people than you'll ever be.

the people i have now, there may come days where we drift apart, but i will never regret them the way that i regret you

a/n the dr a m a. i s2g im renaming this book "ayushis poetic indirects"

so apparently today is national poetry day? it's 11:54 rn so this COUNTS

thank pineapplelester for letting me know, and by extension curiouslester ur both babes nd i love u