The Godly Pursuant (A Percy Jackson fan fiction)

9 - Maggie Crowberry

If you’re going to want adventure, don’t ever ask for a bunch of ten-foot-tall ugly babies in leather loincloths with six arms each. It ain’t gonna be adventure anymore if you don’t make it out alive.

For a moment there I thought I regret not getting in that bloody chariot.

“YAAAAAAHHH!!!” I screamed fiercely as I stormed at each one of the giants, stepping on their heads and shoulders as I cut off their body parts one by one. They roared a lot, and they have the same roar, so I assume it doesn’t really denote anything.

“ROAAAAAAAAR!!!” one giant was able to slap me down on the ground. The earth thudded beneath me. I think it was about seven feet from above but I didn’t get any bruises. I only got cuts from the giants’ nails.

“ROAR ROAR ROAR!” The monsters surrounded me.

I grasped the ground and it shook. Leather diapers fell on the ground.

“Yuck!” I docked as a diaper thrice the size of my blanket almost fell on me. I tried hard not to look at their groins.

“ROAR!” the monsters roared. It was a different roar now. A scared roar. A somewhat surprised, I-didn’t-know-you-could-do-that kind of roar. I bared my teeth and attacked.

“Take that! And this! And that! Ha!” I enthused while slashing my sword on their heads and hands and bodies. It’s actually effective. It doesn’t make you look like you’re dead scared already. Believe me, I was.

I was able to thin out the crowd of giants into yellow dust, until I was down to the last one.

Stupid as I am, it grabbed my torso.

“ROAAAAR!” it bellowed on my face. My sword fell on the ground.

“Curses!” I cussed. I was held up eleven feet. How the hell can I control the earth now?!

The monster lifted out a fist to pound me to death. That moment I truly accepted my fate. I muttered a few prayers to the gods. I told Zeus thanks for the easy chariot ride, I hardly felt turbulence. I whispered to Hephaestus thanks for Hello Kitty, and that he has to find another owner of the weapon. I even told my father Poseidon that I love him and I wish we could’ve had more time together. Then I thought of Percy. Maybe Poseidon could go cuddle up with another mortal woman and give him a new sibling.

I looked the monster in the eye and waited to die. Gradually, as I was aware of it, my eyesight turned red.

The monster’s facial expression was unreadable as it looked back at me.

“ROAAAAAAR!!!!!” it bellowed in fear, and dropped me on the ground. It flung up its arms in what I think was craziness, insanity, terror…

I picked up Hello Kitty, jumped up, and beheaded the ugly son of a gun.