Just a Bromance - PruAme

Thinking too Much

"I mean, we could always just forget the homework" Alfred said suggestively as he slowly walked his fingers up Gilbert's chest. Gilbert felt his face flush as Alfred leaned closer to him on the bed. The two were supposed to be doing homework, but Alfred insisted on "building their chemistry" even further. Gilbert's best friend was nearly inches away from his face and he could feel every pulse beating uncontrollably in his body as he noticed freckles on Alfred's face that he never knew existed. He felt Alfred's hand on his thigh, each second getting dangerously closer to the parts of his body that were already excited enough from having Alfred on his bed in the first place. Gilbert felt himself gulp as Alfred's half-lidded eyes inched closer to his own, but as soon as their lips were millimeters away from touching, Gilbert woke up.

In a sweat, Gilbert immediately shot up out of bed and paced around the room in an attempt to calm himself down. His heart was still pounding as he swore he could still feel Alfred's warm breath on his lips. He could also feel the arousal in his pants, forcing him to contemplate whatever his subconscious was trying to tell him about his feelings towards Alfred. Was it love? Of course not! Alfred was his best friend, his brother, his main man. And Gilbert had always liked girls, there was no way he was suddenly having a change of heart. Love simply wasn't an option. Maybe it was admiration? Or pride? Or jealousy?

His brain didn't exactly help him out in his quest for an answer. He figured it was just a bad dream. A nightmare, so to speak. Maybe it was the total opposite of what he wanted, and that is why his subconscious tortured him with it. Gilbert couldn't come to a conclusion. All he knew was that he did not want to see Alfred any time soon.

When Gilbert arrived at school, he managed to slip past the crowded cafeteria where he met Alfred every morning and immediately headed to his locker before his first class. He had study hall first period, which he shared with Alfred, but luckily, the school allowed them to study wherever they pleased so Gilbert had the opportunity to hide from Alfred for at least the first block of the day. Deciding to try to be as far as possible from Alfred, Gilbert walked to the auditorium to study, where he knew the American would never find him. He even went as far as to hide backstage, so that if Alfred came searching for him, he wouldn't be in plain sight. As soon as Gilbert picked a dark corner in the dimly lit backstage of the auditorium he slid his laptop out of his bag and placed it on his lap.

Ever since he had woken up, Gilbert had been replaying his dream over and over again and questioning what his sexuality truly was. He had man-crushes all the time, but so does everyone. You don't have to be gay to have the occasional crush on someone of the opposite gender. But this time, it was different. Usually his man crushes were handsome celebrities with admirable reputations that literally every man would have a little crush on. But with Alfred, it wasn't just mental. It was physical. He was a person that Gilbert saw every day and spent every minute with. Now that Gilbert realized it, these strange feelings toward Alfred had started way earlier than just the day before in the locker room. Whenever they hugged after a touchdown Gilbert practically melted, and every time they hung out or played video games Gilbert always found himself as close as he possibly could be to Alfred on the couch. But he had never thought anything of it, until the dream.

Frustrated with his lack of understanding with himself, Gilbert decided to consult the internet with his problem. With a deep breath, Gilbert opened his laptop and double checked that no one was in the auditorium before going to Google and typing in "I like girls but I think i like a boy". The results immediately led him to a word he had never really seen before.

Bisexual.

Gilbert spent the remaining 40 minutes of study hall researching the word, until he finally came to the conclusion that he might've been bisexual himself. He had done a bunch of quizzes, read a ton of artices, and even consulted some self-proclaimed "sexuality experts" on Tumblr before  forcing himself to admit the fact that he wasn't as heterosexual as he previously assumed.