Flashing lights blind my eyes and the loud music deafening me
I threw some change around liquefying the money from my paycheck
Which I got an hour ago
They chat me up, suggesting things
Find something better or continue crying about that 9 to 5
That makes you feel like you're in a state of I've been asleep forever but I'm so restless
Even the manipulation or clicking of the keyboard times one hundred
It couldn't make me feel any different, not any more motivated to do anything
I have no reason to live but I lack the reason to die
I'm still crying inside although I drowned my damaged tear ducts awhile ago on the bridge to my childhood house near Mississippi
It's funny that the apathy that keeps me goalless and lack ambition is the same apathy that made me forget my bullies
The pills, all the medication couldn't keep me high enough to make me wanna touch the ground
I can't even get addicted because I can't get myself up out of the bed to continue the addiction
The ringing in my ears can only be filled by the sound of music, the repeating song that the beats predictable now even though it changes every time
Therapy for two years and I'm still the same
I lack the motivation to want to get better
But the drinks not gonna drink itself
