One Less Lonely Girl

Chapter 18~ Outside Myself

I see my body, lying there, unconscious, and hanging onto life by a thread. We are on a rescue boat, about 100 to 150 feet out past the farthest rock pier. I see people rushing around, none of them noticing me. I hear someone crying, and I see Justin in a corner of the boat. There is a cushioned bench along each side near the pointed front, and he is sitting on the right side. "Its my fault. I'm the reason she's lying there. Its all my fault. I can't lose her. I can't," he repeats over and over, with tears running down his face, and  staggered breathing. I walk over to him, and put my hand on his shoulder, "Justin don't blame yourself for this, I'm ok!! See?" I try to tell him optimistically. He doesn't see me, or hear me, because he keeps crying. Someone walks over to him, and tells him what my condition is. "Sir, she is still unconscious, and we are not sure is she is stable yet, but we are getting there. There was a lot of water in her lungs, but we were able to get some of it out. There is a rash on her right leg, probably from a toxic fish that touched her, like the spines on a catfish. We called an ambulance, and they are on their way now. Her family has been alerted, and they will meet us at the Cleveland Clinic in Avon. Anything else you need to know?" he explains. "How did she get pulled out like that?" Justin asks. "She was caught in a rip current, sir," the man affirms, as if he has done this a million times. "And what is that?" Justin's voice cracks when he asks that, scared to find out how bad  it would be. "  A rip current is a current that forms when there is a 'disagreement' between the tides. It is formed in a mushroom shape, and  carries whatever gets caught in it away from shore and 'out to sea.' When you try to swim in a rip current, you only get more tired. When you threw her, she must have landed in one. We are able to spot them from high up, but they are very hard to see from the shore. It isn't your fault, no one knew about it. She will be safe in the hospital soon enough," he informs Justin. Justin nods, and the man walks way.

When Justin looks at the shore, he balls his fists up. "Goddamn it!! Why do they always have to be here?!" he screams. There are multiple news reporters on the shore, along with a crowd of people. "Just get away from us!!!" he shouts. My heart breaks at that moment. Here he is, hurting, scared of losing his girlfriend, and all they want are pictures and a story. When we reach the shore, the ambulance is there, and the rescue team takes me off the boat, and tries to put me on the stretcher. While they try to do that news reporters walk up to my body, and to Justin, trying to get a shot of him crying. When one reporter asks what happened, he replies, "Leave me alone," in a low, deadpan voice. When a different reporter asks another question, he snaps. "I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" he screams. Justin punches a camera, cracking the lens. The reporter takes a step back, while he grabs another camera, and hurls it into the lake. There are reporters around my body, trying to get pictures, and runs up and shoves them away. "GET AWAY FROM HER!," he screams at them. A reporter shoves a camera in his face, and he proceeds to destroy it by smacking it on the ground then jumping on it . "Hey! That was a thousand dollar camera!" the man shouts. Justin grabs his shirt collar, and pulls him towards himself, the man's nose only inches from Justin's. He speaks in a low, but intense whisper, "Come back to me when a dumbass camera is worth more than a human life." Justin then shoves the man away from him. It kills me to see him like this. All the reporters back off, and stand on the sidelines, near their news vans. The rescue team has gotten me on the stretcher, and they are wheeling my body into the ambulance. I climb in, and so does Justin. I stand in front of him, and I want him to see me, I really do. He looks at my face, and his eyes light up. "Yes Justin! It's me, see? I'm ok!!" I exclaim. Then he reaches forward, and his hand passes right through me. I gasp , and try to grab him, but my hand passes through him as well.

"Austra, if you can hear me, please squeeze my hand. I need to know that you here, that you are still with me," he whispers, still crying. I try so hard to let him know that I can hear him. That I can hear and see everything he is doing. After a few moments, he buries his head in his arm. I slump down in the seat, feeling defeated. Suddenly, Justin gets up, and slams his fist against the wall of the ambulance. I jump up in my seat, and he bangs the wall over and over again. "Justin stop!! Please!!" I yell in distress. He doesn't hear me, and continues to slam the wall. "IT"S ALL MY FAULT!! I'M THE REASON WE ARE HERE!" he screams. His fists start to bleed, and he sits down. He reaches into his right pocket, and pulls out a small velvet box. Inside of it is a diamond ring. " I was going to tell you that I loved you today. I picked out this ring for later in our future together. I know that you are the one for me Austra, I just do. I can tell you all the reasons why I love you if you ever asked me. I bought this ring when I was in New York. I went to the best jeweler in the state, and had this custom made, just for you. I'm not going to give it to you just yet, but later on I will, I promise. I promise Austra Elizabeth Delaney." I am shocked, and overjoyed at what I just heard. I can't believe it. I want to tell him that I love him too. That when he does ask, I will be ready to say yes. I will not tell him that I know this though, I will tuck it away, deep inside me so I will forget it. He quickly shoves the ring into his pocket again.

The ambulance doors open, and the rescue team rushes me inside the hospital. I see my mom, sister, and dad in the waiting room. Mom rushes over to me as soon as she sees me. "Oh, my baby," she cries. Justin runs up to her, and she hugs him. "Its my fault, Mrs. Delany. I'm the reason we are here. If you need to be mad at anyone for this, be mad at me," he bravely tells her. My mom strokes his face, "Oh Justin. I'm not mad at anyone, and I certainly don't blame you. It was an accident, and it is nobody's fault," she whispers to him. He hugs her again, then sits down in the waiting room next to the rest of my family. I follow myself into the area where the doctors work on the patients. They wheel me into an operating room, and start to work on me. I can't watch, so I run out of the room, and over to where Justin and my family are sitting. I sit in the empty blue seat next to him. I lean over and rest my hand on his shoulder.