Drarry One-shots

Prank or Pick up?

Genre: CRacK

Warnings: I mean... unless you count explicit language at this point... and implications... NAH

Word Count: 700~

Author: fxck-drarry (Me)

Summary: Harry believes he has a great prank to play on Malfoy. AKA Harry is too drunk and Draco is probs drunker than he initially thought.

**

Sometimes people drink too much. This was one of those moments. Harry Potter was stumbling drunk. Really, truly, extremely wasted to the point of tripping over invisible barriers and sloshing his drink so much it was merely an empty glass. Of course, Harry had no idea it was empty, but that didn't matter.

Moments ago in his drunken haze, this green-eyed savior came up with a brilliant prank to use on Draco Malfoy. Malfoy who happened to be across and towards the middle of the eighth year common room casually chatting away with a friendly Neville Longbottom. They were discussing plants, but as far as Harry was concerned... Well, he wasn't. He didn't give a flying snitch what Neville and Malfoy were talking about and all he wanted to do was pull a fast one on Malfoy. It would be outstanding! The prank of the ages.

So finally after around ten minutes of stumbling and confusing directions, Harry found himself walking up to Draco Malfoy.

Draco was pleasantly buzzed and luckily nowhere near as drunk as Potter. For roughly 3 seconds after the drunk man arrived, he swayed directly into the poor Slytherin's shoulder. Draco had to steady the both of them! That git should've been grateful. Even if he was stumbling drunk. Potter even scared Neville off when he arrived! They had been having great conversation over the properties of henbane and its potential uses. Now Potter was blowing his disgusting breath all over Draco's face and the situation was getting increasingly uncomfortable!

Harry accidentally found himself leaning into Malfoy but he couldn't be bothered to move! It would help with his prank anyway...

"Heyyy Malfffoyyy, that thing-g-- my dick-- yeah that-tt... Welllll it's dying.. Can I bury it in your ass-ss?" Harry was very proud of his execution, Malfoy completely froze up!

Man, Malfoy was so embarrassed he stopped breathing for moment and his face got all pink! Totally worth the travelling in Harry's opinion. Harry was about to stumble his way back to the bar when he felt a grip on his waist.

Sure, Draco may blush easily, especially with being tipsy and all... But Potter had no right! He was going to pay alright.

"Oh Potter, where are you going? I didn't quite catch what you said... Did you say 'Petrificus Totalus'? You must've because you just made me stiff." Draco purred into Potter's ear. He most certainly did not press the other man's arse to his dick to make a point. That's absurd!

Harry wasn't sure what just happened, Malfoy wasn't supposed to actually respond! What the fuck was he supposed to do? The Gryffindor was clearly in too far and the only option left was to fully commit. The (still) drunk man gathered his wits (as much of them as he had left) and turned around in the blond's arms, wrapping his own arms around Malfoy's neck.

Harry's eyes felt heavy from his alcohol induced state as he lent forward, "I don't need a-accio to make you come."

Draco hummed thoughtfully, he wasn't sure what to expect from Potter. Maybe the other man would run away screaming, 'Merlin! Merlin! Malfoy is a poof!' He didn't though. In fact, he even responded by getting closer! Alright this next one would surely shut him up...

"I use to go to the Astronomy Tower to see stars, but now I can just look into your eyes," To make his point clear, Draco successfully gained Potter's eye contact and stared gaily into his eyes.

They were surprisingly green, quite pretty actually. Almost like emerald jewels.. very lovely.

"Whoa," Harry was momentarily distracted with how silvery looking Malfoy's eyes became. The world was slightly less dizzy in the prat's arms as well, which was a plus.

Harry s̶l̶o̶w̶l̶y̶ quickly regained focus and gave another lovely retort, "If I open my Gryffindor will you Slytherinnn?

Having been so focused on those emer- puke green eyes, Draco nearly missed the git's response! Luckily he caught it, oh he definitely caught it...

"Care to open up then?" Draco wasn't sure when he grabbed Ha-Potter's waist tighter, but the Gryffindor hadn't complained. Maybe Draco was a little drunker than he initially thought...

"Huh.. If I say yeah will you hold your end of that promise?" Harry lent in a bit closer, Draco's breath smelt like sweet wine...

Draco held in a gasp, this took a turn! He saw Har-Potter briefly glance at his mouth... or did he?

"I think I can manage."