The Five Unnecessaries

Chapter 10

A warm day in spring always made me homesick for summer. I wanted to be laying in the sun, basking in it, rolling in the grass with the boys, or writing under a tree.

But I wasn't.

I could barely breathe at all, staring not at the sky but at a mat getting closer, then pulling away, getting closer, then pulling away. While my arms burned and pushed, the mat got closer, pulled away, closer, then my head fell into it.

Get up! the voice in my head screamed over and over, but it had gotten a lot less desperate. Now, it screamed harder and louder. And then, the voice screaming at me was no longer mine.

"Get up!" Collin yelled, almost right over my face. I pushed my arms up to brace myself, but I couldn't do another push-up. My stomach screamed when I pulled it in to straighten my back.

"You will fall at twenty feet again if you can't do this!"

Bringing up the first day of ISO week and the disaster on the climbing wall only pinned me harder to the mat. I had miscalculated and failed to call for tension in my rope until it was too late. I tried to make it up a few more stones when my arm cramped. I missed the hold. I had fallen ten feet before tension hit.

Collin kept bringing it up at every opportunity, especially because there were four other Protectors and trainers there. Including Avery, who screamed up at Tessa the entire sixty feet, which she had scaled in record time.

I'd already imagined the conversations that had happened behind doors. I didn't know if Collin hated me. At first, he thought I had broken my wrist and looked concerned. But since the incident, he had been overly critical, terrified that my skills (or lack thereof) would embarrass him again.

"I'm done. I can't. I'm sorry." My voice cracked as I got to my feet.

He stared at me with disgust. "You have to—"

"Forget it!" I snapped. "Just... I'm done."

"Fine. You'll do a run after Medical. Let's go."

He didn't assign me a punishment right away, which was surprising after a tense few days. Only a few things kept me going, like watching videos with Brie. My disgust at the Republic had only grown, learning how they prevented empathy and only encouraged self-promotion in schools. They had nearly everyone brainwashed before age ten, which is why there was an age limit for Unnecessaries. Most flaws were found between ages four and seven, but it still made me sick to think that we had to limit how many people we could save. But then I thought it would be a miracle if I could save anyone. I dreaded every step as I walked to Medical.

But despite the pain, my eyes widened in shock at seeing what was on the table. My disgust evaporated. I turned to Collin, every hard edge removed from his face to reveal his own sense of wonder. He was even smiling.

"That's... Is that my... ?"

"It's your pack. One of them, anyway, but it is yours. Some of them are designed to be more fashionable, but they all have the same supplies. Initials are on the bottom and the back of the shoulder straps, in case you get it confused, but it's in the same thread as the bag so it's not easily seen. It's complete with everything you'll ever need for any mission, any pregnancy, any Unnecessary. Your job is to become familiar with it. Where to find everything, how to retrieve the first tool for identifying a Vessel and be prepared to use it. But first things first. Put it on, 27."

My hand grazed over my initials and along the strap. I went to lift it, expecting it to be heavy, but it was super light. He laughed at my shock.

"Well, you may have to walk a hundred miles with it on your back. We're not sadists."