All Smiles

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I have this great idea for a fantasy about this long daydream I've been having for 3 years (going strong) tell me what you think :))

~Ali~

Lana came over and sat next to me. She looked at the ocean while I stared at her. She was so beautiful yet so broken inside.

"Did he call you too?" She asked, her voice shaking. I wasn't really in the mood to see anymore crying today; frankly it was quite annoying to me and I had just gotten myself relaxed.

"Yeah. He might come down here." She sighed angrily.

"Why do you love him so much?" She said, turning towards me. I rolled my eyes semi-playfully.

"You of all people should know how it feels." She looked down but I continued. "To love someone who you think you can change. To forgive them when they say they'll change for you. I can't let him go even if it's best for me, because it's not the best for him. He needs someone to watch over him. To show him genuine love and care, even if he takes advantage of it."

I could feel her eyes now burn into the side of my face. I couldn't look her in the eyes because I knew I would succumb to her pleas of me to break up with him. I couldn't do that to him.

"-li. Ali, look at me!" I refused. She did it for me and I could see her worry-filled glossy eyes. I knew I had to tell her about him.

"He has severe bipolar depression." I said with a monotone voice. She dropped her hands and her eyes went from worried to sympathy. Maybe even pity. "Please don't give me that I'm sorry crap, I really can't handle that. He's been getting worse and he doesn't want to get any help. It's been so hard to keep it in. Don't tell anyone please."

"It's not my business to tell others. Come here." She pulled me into a tight hug. I looked at the ocean and I could only see all the tears I've ever cried in my life. I shouldn't cry anymore, but then again I wouldn't be being real with myself.

I just let them silently fall.

Lana kissed my forehead and rubbed my back and it reminded me of my old job at the daycare center.

I had just woken up Anya from her nap. She was crying silently, not wanting to wake up. I asked her if she wanted an uppie. She reached for me and I comforted her, rubbing her back and kissing her forehead while she laid against me.

I missed those days where I was surrounded by love for those three hours everyday. I missed the good times of my childhood.

I felt her hand rub my cheek, wiping the excess tears falling down. I flash her a small smile. Embracing all of my good memories. I needed to change my attitude quick and live in the now.

"I heard that there's a concert tonight for some band, do you wanna go check it out?" She looked at me with surprise.

"Um yeah, sure. Are you sure you're ok to go?" I nodded yes. "Ok well I'll just go grab Melissa and we can go. You know where it's at, right?"

"Yeah. I'll be at the car, entertaining the paparazzi," I exclaimed with a smile. As expected, they swarmed asking me a million questions.

I answered to simple questions like what's my favorite color and food. It's amazing how they could even spin those little answers to tell "everything about me". It was stupid.

Lana and Melissa came after five minutes. Melissa handed me a napkin with a familiar looking phone number.

"I won't let you drink, but you can socialize with whoever you want to," she said with a blank look. She was avoiding my eyes as though she was scared of me. I gave her a quick hug and jumped into the car.