cancer, egd

7.v&e

My mind is very much so awake, the rest of my body, not so much. My mind runs marathons as my body lays, seeming to just float. I don't remember exactly what happened, but judging by the fact that I can't feel my hands, for they are tied up with medical cloth, whatever happened wasn't exactly good.

"It's a beautiful thing... you know." I hear Ethan's voice, but don't recall him being here. I open my eyes. "Watching someone sleep with such peace." His eyes graze my face, making me want to blush and cover up every insecurity I hold, fearfully he might discover all the imperfections.

"What do you mean?" My hoarse voice rasps.

"Nah, never mind. You're gonna think I'm weird." He laughs and looks up to the ceiling. The room stay silent for a moment as he thinks, the silence is followed by a smile and the best words I've heard in a while. "I got your paint by the way." His words create a smirk upon his lips. The topic change from awkward to amusement brings a smile to my face as well. But when I look around for a bag, backpack, anything really. I find nothing new, except my missing candle.

"Where is it?" I ask. I look him in the eye again and he starts laughing. I laugh along, still unsure what the joke is.

"It's hidden." He laughs. For what I'm guessing is for good measure, he stands and turns his body in a smooth move. He quietly closes the door. I notice that he isn't in normal attire, instead he has a hoodie and large baggy sweatpants hanging from his rather amazing body- what a girl's gotta dream.

"Where?" I push, anxious and almost giddy to know the answer. He blushes a bit and bends down to his ankles. He stretches out the part the clings to his lower leg and paint bottles come rolling out across the floor, there must be at least 20 of them, and how he managed to conceal them as well as he did, amazes me.

"Holy crap." I laugh and look at the colors in awe.

"I know right!" He looks up to me with a prideful, toothy grin, you could've sworn he won the Olympics his smile was that big.

"Do you have any paintbrushes?" I ask.

"Fuck." He whisper angrily. He lets head fall in defeat and he starts to laugh again. "I bought all this damn paint but forgot the fucking brushes." He mumbles to himself. I think of something could use.

"It's fine, we will just use our hands." I look down to my hands, bandages wrap around my palms, bandaids on almost every finger.

"We'll just use my hands then." He holds up his hands, showing me his palms, he wiggles his fingers. "See they look enough like paint brushes." He grins sarcastically. I laugh with him I hop out of my bed. I pull the IV bag rack along with me, they keep me on pain medication all the time now, so it's not like I can just take them out and be okay.

I make sure to fix out my hospital gown, making sure my cheeks are covered. I laugh at myself. This is why I'm single.

I push the paint over with my feet and Ethan helps. We get all the paint bottles into a row along the wall, both of us kneeling in front, looking in awe at our blank canvas.

"Where do you wanna start?" Ethan smiles widely and looks over to me.

"Lets write our names." I smile with a nod. I push down my thoughts of dying. I want to be remembered, this is a way I can do that.

"Awesome, what color? Black?" He tosses the black up and into his left hand, extending it towards me. I smile at him and gingerly take the bottle. I tear the seal, the strong scent of paint entering the air.

"Give me that hand." I joke. He gives me his hand and I lightly grasp his wrist and the black and squeeze some paint onto his index finger. "We are gonna make these names big." I stand, he follows my lead. I finally realize how tall he is, standing next to me. He towers over my little 5'6" figure. I take his hand and close the fingers that don't have paint in them. I wrap my tiny hand around his large fist, and he helps me write out Vicky across the wall in huge letters.