The Killing Spree

Self-harm, Love, and Crossing Fingers.

I fell asleep at the hospital yesterday and I woke up in his room, I believe. I sit up, feeling a little pain at my left side. Oh, now I remember. But then, there's this craving for more harm, more blood, more. I go through his stuff to find a sharpener and a screw driver. I find both in twenty-minutes tops. I smile and get the razor and admire the piece of metal that withheld so much power. I lift up the sleeves of his shirt and cut my wrists over twenty times. Fifty times. One hundred times. Gruesome smile, bloody... Very bloody. The art on my arm is beautiful. I keep working on more art on my thighs, wrists, stomach, and one cut on my cheek. He walks in my bloody dream. He doesn't say anything, he's speechless. He stares at the blood then me then back at the bloody mess. He slowly walks over and hugs me. "This is called..." He takes a deep breath,"Love." He keeps hugging me even though I am a bloody mess Even though I might smell weird and such. He still tells me he loves me over and over again, he loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. Love. What is love? I just, don't know. I stare at him and he's already staring at me. I take a breath and I kiss him.I.. kissed him for once. Or at least I think I did. He leans in and his soft lips melt into mine, perfectly. Ever since then, I wasn't going to kill him. He was special, different. He made his way into my blackened heart. I break away, "Uh, can I shower?" He nods and shows me the way. I get the spare clothes he was letting me use and one towel I lock the door behind me and turn on the shower. I strip and hop in. I wash the cuts, grazing my hand over them. The power I felt when I did this...I have never felt  that before. I finish washing my hair and shaving. I get out of the shower and change. I hide the razor and pull up my hair with a random string I found. I look different. With my bangs out of my eyes. My long hair isn't in the way. "Hey beautiful," Dillon says. "Hello." I reply back. "Promise me you'll never do that again..?" He says slowly.  I cross my fingers behind my back, "I promise."