Parasites (Kellic)

Chapter 8

"We'd rather die than live to rust on the ground!" We finished the last song of the set, before heading backstage with the rest of the band. Sleeping with Sirens went first this time, and then, Pierce the Veil.

I high fived Vic, with a wide grin spread across my face. "That was the best it ever went!"

"I know, good job today boys!" Vic yelled to the rest of the guys as I headed back to my dressing room, it was weird that we had them. We usually didn't, but this venue had them, so we took advantage. I was the only one who got my own, because I'm special like that.

I started to get dressed into some clean clothes, after our crazy sick performance, I was sweating my balls off.

I heard a knock on my door, and luckily I was dressed in at least my jeans before it opened. Way to defeat the purpose of knocking, I didn't even answer and he came in anyway!

I looked over to see who was at the door, and of course, it was none other than Vic. "Hey, Kellin." He said, shutting the door behind him.

"Hey." I smiled. "Didn't you know that knocking means wait for an answer before you come in?" I teased. He shrugged.

"Maybe I didn't feel like waiting." He said with a smug smile.

"Oh, whatever. What do you want?" I asked, as he walked closer to me. He didn't answer, so I looked at him with a weird look.

"Kellin, I'm worried about you." He said after a few moments of silence.

"Worried? Why?"

"You're not yourself. You don't really party like you used to, which isn't an issue but I know you, and I know you love to party, and you're withdrawing from everyone and isolating yourself more and more, it isn't healthy."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Since when do you care? What gives you the right to march up in here and tell me what I have to fix? You aren't even a friend to me anymore." I said. He looked hurt, but he should feel hurt. He hurt me more than I could possibly be  hurting him right now. He broke my heart when I needed him the most.

"Can you leave my room?" I asked him. I wasn't about to cry in front of him.

"No, Kellin, I want to help you."

"You can help me by leaving me the fuck alone." I snapped. He looked taken aback.

"Kellin, don't push me away. Don't do this,"

"I'm not doing anything! You're the one who left me when I needed you the most!"

"Of course I left! Why would I stay with someone who cheated on me!?" He started to raise his voice too.

"I didn't cheat on you!" I screamed. Tears filled my eyes, thinking about that night. It was a touchy subject.

"Really, Kellin? How can you sit there and deny it when I walked in on you and caught you in the act!?"

"He raped me!" I screamed. And almost as soon as the words left my mouth I regretted saying it. I didn't want to tell him. I looked away, silence. He didn't try to say anything else for a few moments.

"K-Kellin, you're kidding right?" He asked.

I shook my head and looked away, the tears were just falling now, there was no point in trying to stop them because I knew they wouldn't. The next thing I knew, he was pulling me into a hug. I accepted it, and buried my face in the crook of his neck as I let out a sob.

"I'm so sorry, Kell.. I-I had no idea, oh god. I should have talked to you, I'm so, so sorry." He said, holding me close to him. I shook my head.

"Save it," I whimpered. "I don't want to hear it, what's done is done, and can't be undone and this was seven years ago. You're happy now, okay?" I pulled away from him. Sobs wracked my whole body. "So just.. Go, go and be happy with Danielle. She's better than I could ever be," I said, sadly and looked down at my feet.

"I-I'm going to go get ready to leave." He said, quietly. I just nodded, and watched him leave the room.

"Damn it," I whispered. I didn't want to be alone.

I was stuck, I didn't know what to do anymore, which was a huge part of the reason I tried to kill myself last week. I didn't want to live in a world where it was okay for people to hurt other people. I didn't want to be a part of that.

I sighed, and pulled my shirt on before making my way out to the rest of the guys after I made myself look halfway decent, and made sure it wasn't noticeable that I was crying just seconds ago.

"Hey, Kellin. We're gonna have a party on the bus if it's okay with you." Justin said. I just nodded, I didn't care.

•••

It was so loud on the bus, there was music blaring and tons upon tons of people. I didn't know it was physically possible to fit so many people on a small tour bus.

I'd been taking shots since seven, I had no idea what time it was now but I was pretty tipsy. I wanted to go where no one was, so I made my way to the bunks and sat in mine, with a bottle of liquor in my hand. I took a swig before setting it on the floor next to my bed.

I laid down and closed my eyes, just wanting to fall asleep so the night would be over. The noise eventually became too much though and it was making my anxiety rise. I couldn't breathe, and I needed to get outside. It was hot in here, probably from the body heat of all these people. I stood up and decided I would find a place to stay for the night.

I exited the bus, starting to walk around. The cool air was just what I needed. I took in a deep breath, and it came out pretty shakily. I was shaking. I just needed to calm myself down and I would be okay. I looked at our bus, and then Pierce the Veil's. There was more people in their bus, but not as many and it wasn't as loud in there, so I knocked on the door only to be greeted by Jaime.

"Hey, come in. Are you okay?"

I nodded, "It's too noisy in there for me. I want to go somewhere quiet." I whined.

"Okay. You can sleep in my bunk, or just relax if you want. I'll take the couch tonight," he said.

"Thank you so much," I murmured as he let me inside, and I made my way to the back with him. He pointed to his bunk and I got in it, curling up into a ball. I pulled the covers up to my chin and closed my eyes. It was perfect in here.

"Goodnight," was the last thing I heard from Jaime before I was overcome by sleep. At least I'd have an escape for a few hours.