Plasters And Bandages (COMPLETED ✔️)

Chapter Eight

Alex's POV

It was the day of the funeral.

The funeral that should never have happened.

The funeral that I caused, because I was a shit friend.

The funeral that I could have stopped.

I had to get ready. How do you do this? Get ready? Dress up? When you feel so guilty?

I ended up not really doing anything. Beck told me I looked fine and I believed him, I didn't care I just wanted this to be over.

The drive there was uncomfortable. Beck kept making small talk, I didn't react to any of it. I wanted him to shut up, but I didn't say.

I wouldn't talk, or I would cry. I felt mentally drained. Tears would run down my face but I had no power. For anything, just today, just about.

The ceremony was beautiful. I could hear sobbing, it echoed the room, echoed in my ears and it felt like my heart was being squeezed.

When Ari's body was being lowered I couldn't breathe.

I choked out a sob and felt Beck's hand tighten.

I watched her coffin slowly, I'll never see her again. This is it.

I replayed all our good memories, all the bad ones too.

The sleepovers as kids till the sleepovers when we joined college.

Our fights and arguments when we didn't talk for so long.

The last time I saw her, after the party.

It's all over now, no more of that any longer.

I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. I was so tired.

Afterwards we went home. I didn't even change my clothes, I just crawled into bed. I felt Beck's warm, comforting touch. He held me and I fell asleep. I felt safe here, in his arms. He'll make me better, he'll help me help myself. He'll help me forgive myself for letting Ari die. That one is going to be a challenge though.

I fell asleep but that night I had a bad dream.

I looked around me, darkness surrounding me.

My breathing became fast and quick.

A face appeared before me. It was Beck and I instantly calmed down. He steadied me.

But when he opened his mouth, it wasn't his voice.

It was a screeching, high pitched voice.

"Your a disgrace!"

Then his face disappeared and in its place Ari's face came.

"You let me die! Your a terrible friend! You didn't see I was upset!"

"AHHHHH"

I couldn't stop screaming.

Then I woke up.

I saw Beck's face in front of me, he had a worried look etched on it. He was shaking me and whispering

"Alex, what's wrong? Talk to me!"

I reached my hands out and cupped his face.

"Oh"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and held the back of his head. Then I rested my head on him and pulled my legs up to my chest and he scooped me up.

I felt the burning hot tears stream down my face and I cried.

I was terrified. Would I ever be normal again?

Or would my mistake haunt me?

A/N did you see how I repeated things that Beck said? It was supposed to show that they think similarly, also sorry for it being short but the detail of the funeral was in the last chapter. This was just Alex's thoughts really. Please vote and comment :)