Carapace of a Life

Kisses & Heart Break...

 I went through the racks searching for anything that was my size. After checking a good amount my hands were full of different options. I went over to the dressing room trying to contemplate which one I wanted to try on first. After maybe 10 minutes I had arranged them the perfect way I wanted to try them on. I got undressed staring at the girl in the mirror; the stranger with all those scars...some self-inflicted; the others were a mystery to her.

I grabbed the first dress a long gray strapless dress. I zipped it up and looked at that girl in the mirror. She looked like a completely different person but the color made me look like I was sick sol I took it off and put it to my left. This was the routine I did until I got to the last one.

 It was a wine color lace dress. It had two pieces; the top part was short sleeve and reached to mid stomach. The bottom part was also lace and mermaid shape making a little puddle on the ground. I was speechless and in love with the dress. So much so that I walked outside over to the 3 way mirror looking at myself closely; I actually felt beautiful.

"Woah..." I jumped up a few feet in the air. "You look absolutely gorgeous...your date will definitely fall in love once he sees how amazing you look..." I blushed the same color as the dress and got off about to run over to the dressing room once again. 

"Sorry love, just being honest..." I stared at Jeremy for a few minutes then went inside the changing room sliding the dress of carefully. I put all the dresses in their hangers; putting them on the rack they had for the dresses no one was taking. I walked over to the register and paid. I was about to head out of the store when I saw Jeremy at a couch. I went towards him sitting next to him. "I'm sorry..."

I shrugged telling me there was nothing wrong that he understood I was just shy. "You want to look for the rest of your stuff?" I shrugged, not sure if I wanted to. He grabbed my hand forcing me to follow behind him. His hands were soft; we walked into a shoe store where he forced me to look for shoes to wear with the dress. 

"Why are you helping me?" He shrugged looking at me, "I don't know...I guess I like you; you seem like a great girl. I felt like you were happy when I saw you in that dress. I hadn't seen that look since I met you. Now you have a different look...kind of like you're hurt...tired, worn out, unhappy..." how can Jeremy notice this...but his brother doesn't...

I looked down not knowing what to say. I tried on a couple of shoes until I found the right one. I paid for them then made we made our way to some massage chairs they had on the other side of the mall. We sat down next to each other relaxing; I felt him stare at me so I looked at him giving him a questioning look.

 He stayed silent staring back at me. I was beginning to feel a little weird; tingling in my stomach and just looked away. I put on my headphones shuffling the songs; kiss me by Ed Sheeran began playing. I closed my eyes listening to the lyrics.

The images playing in my head were of those lyrics...they kept me calm...relaxed me for once in a very long time. I began to black out and fell asleep. I awoke a little after; Jeremy was still next to me; snoring softly, his hand was holding mine...I moved my hand away quickly and he woke up too.

He looked at his phone panicking; "Shit! It's almost closing time!" he got up and I followed him. We made our way towards the entrance trying to rush to where we were supposed to meet up with them again. I was laughing at how fast we were walking but what I saw stopped me right at my tracks...

On the bench right in front of the entrance was Rupert and Noelia...but it wasn't just that...they were kissing...my heart shattered into a million pieces...I was holding back the tears...but I didn't know how long I could take it...Jeremy looked at me and I knew he understood...I put on my head phones, blasted the loudest song I had and walked past them pretending nothing was wrong. Jeremy followed behind me heading over to the car as well. I stood in front of the door waiting for him to unlock it.

I got into the darkness and just sat there going numb...a feeling that seemed like I had felt it before; but I didn't remember when. A few minutes passed and the car was moving. We drove around to the entrance. The door opened and there he was...the guy responsible for my heartbreak... 

"Hey Rose, is it ok if Noelia and I sit in the back and you go over to the front?" I stared at him for a few seconds and nodded. I got out moving over to the front seat and buckling up. I had my music in full blast but I could still hear her giggling...it just made the pain in my chest that much stronger. Jeremy kept giving me sympathetic looks and I just felt disgusted with myself...great...now I'm a pity case... We stopped at a big yellow house; they both got out and stayed for a few minutes. He kissed her goodnight and made his way over to the car happily.

We drove off once again this time over to my house. We stopped in front and I grabbed all my things and made my way over to the house closing the door behind me softly. My mom was asleep like she usually was after such a long exhausting day at work. I tiptoed to my room and closed both doors of the bathroom. I grabbed my silver friend about to slash when I received a message.

Don't do it Rose...

Who is this?

Jeremy...Don't let them affect you...

They don't...

You aren't good at hiding your feelings...I saw how you changed as soon as you saw them...

So what...why does it matter to you...

I don't like seeing you hurt...

Why not...

I don't know...

I didn't know what to respond so I just put my phone down along with my silver friend. Why does he care...