I didn't talk to Joe until we got to the airport. The plane seemed like it went on forever,I slept for most of it.
Once we got back to New York I unpacked all of my things and I made myself at home again. I don't want to talk to Joe. I'm in my bed, listening to music. When Joe walks in.
"Hannah."
I don't say anything.
"Your not talking to me? I can cancel the doctors for us if you want me to."
"Yes please......"
"I'm sorry Hannah."
"No I am."
"There's no need for you to be sorry."
He hugs me. Then phones the doctors. They cancelled it.
I haven't been on Instagram for a few days,I logged out of it. I logged back in and posted a old selfie of me and Joe. All the comments was quite positive,which was good. Joe and me aren't really talking to each other a lot. I want to talk to him I'm just scared to. I lay in my bed looking at the celling,I decided to text Joe.
"Hey...."
"Hi." He replies instantly.
"Sorry Joe."
"Don't be sorry. I don't even know what's going on Hannah."
"I thought you hate me."
"Why would I hate you."
"Because I hate me."
"But...But I'm not you."
"Which is why you hate me."
"Hannah stop."
"....."
"I LOVE YOU AND YOU KNOW IT OKAY."
"Why are you shouting."
"To get my point across."
He walks into the room.
"What are you doing here?" I snap.
"Just telling you that I'm going away for a while."
"Your not going anywhere."
"Yes Hannah,yes I am. Goodbye."
"Joe...."
"You clearly don't care Hannah. All you do is lie in bed and cut."
"I... I don't."
"I thought I made you happy."
"You do."
"Obviously." Joe looks like he's about to cry.
I get off my bed and walk over to him.
"Do you really think you don't make me happy Joe?"
"I never said that."
"But you implied that."
"Hannah,I love you,"
I didn't say anything.
"Clearly you don't love me. That's fine. Break my heart,everyone does."
"I'm not everyone."
"But your my everything."
"Are you sure you have the right person Joe. I've messed up your life."
"You haven't."
"Yeah okay."
"I know you don't believe me but I don't understand why."
"Every time I'm happy or every time I'm in love it messes up. I don't want to hurt you Joe. I love you,I do. But I've hurt you to much."
"You haven't hurt me at all."
"I think we both know that I have."
You haven't. I love yo-"
I cut him off and kiss him. I wrap my arms around him.
"I'm sorry Joe."
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't of said what I said okay."
"It's okay."
My phone goes off. It's my brother. He must of got a new number.
"It's Simon,your brother. You should kill your self and your so called boyfriend is worthless,just like you."
I show Joe. He looks like he's about to cry. He hugs me.
"He's not worth it Hannah."
"Neither am I."
