Everything Wrong With Me: A Series Of Short Pieces About My Life And Struggles

The Sad Truth

I fell in love with my best friend. I did. People might not have seen him as the most attractive person, and sometimes he could really mess with your head to the point where you cry. Some people thought he was a popular wierdo, others thought he was sincerely dispicable. You head it all ways possible. But, regardless of what others said and thought about him, he was your best friend, whom you spent all your time with. You spent so much of your time with him, that you couldnt help falling in love with him. You fell so deep in the rabbit hole called love, that it overtook you, to the point where you became jealous and angry if he left you. And thats what he did. He has other friends. He left you for them. And the thing is, that he probably would have come back, if you hadn't said something. It took all of your strength not to say something, not to upset him. But jealously overtook your body, won the battle. Before you knew what happened, you were yelling at him. And before either of you knew it, he hated you; With a passion. You still loved him. Everyday you would apologize and regret, only to be rejected again and again. You cried everyday out of frustration, jealousy, hatred, broken-heartedness. All of it. Until one day it stopped. One day you stopped crying, you stopped apologizing, you stoped thinking. It was like that all summer. He was finally out of your head. The next year, you saw him. He came up to you, and you tried to run away, but he caught up. "I want to be friends again" you'll never forget the words he said to you, with a faint, sad, smile, and clearly tired and traumatized eyes. A hundred bricks lifted off your shoulders, as you felt it again. Love. You loved him again, despite thinking you had learned your lesson last time, you fell again. You were friends again. He instantly became your best friend again. The worst part is though, that even though he was your best friend, you were never his. He never felt the same way you did. He didnt even know how much you cared. You felt as though you could trust him with your life, even though he told you to end it everyday.