written on my grave~

chapter 4: angel's tears

Would she ever come?

Well, she did.

The thunder was very loud. It was echoing all over the place and I could see the panic in the faces of the people looking for a shed to avoid the falling rain. They were all running fast afraid to get wet.  It was like a forsaken thing, they were all afraid of it. People don’t even know how important that is. Rain is a blessing. And God, how much I love the rain; the angels’ tears falling down upon me, upon every one of us. It was washing all the despair and sorrows and all the dirt of the filthy human beings-us.

That moment, when I felt the water running through my body, I felt like being embraced, towered by heavens’ pity to a man like me. Even the sky was sobbing for me. All I can give to myself was comforting lines, that she was just late and that she would come, that she loves me, that we both love each other.

A sigh and a smirk would do, I thought. Then I explored my pockets and get the pendant I supposed to give her… if this didn’t happen… if things were just fine.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” A familiar voice found its way towards my ear. I felt the rain stopped, this human being in front of me covered my body with protection. It shed me with a big black umbrella. And I thought, did she come from a burial ceremony? Or was I the one being buried?

“Let’s go home, Reno.” That wouldn’t just do, dude. I’m not going home like this.

“Did you hear me? I said let’s go home. You’ll catch a cold with that!”  She was very eager to take me home. But I was more eager to stay under these great waters.

“Reno… “She  was calling me back home, indeed. “Don’t do this, please. Just talk to me, we’ll work things out again.” Her tone was very concerned and…

 “No.” clearly, I declared. “Not without her.” Yes, of course not without her.

“It’s clear Reno she won’t come. You’ve waited enough. Maybe now is not the right time for fixing things up. So go home, brother.” My sister is very caring of me and I wished she’ll just let me be with these things. Because I’m very much afraid, I’m scared of hurting her and disrespecting her.

She tried to move me, to make me stumble down and to wake me up to whatever was really happening with my life. However, I was already awake. I love citadel and that I’d wait for her no matter what.

“Then call her. Ask her if she’ll even come. Or if she even remembers this.” But I didn’t want to remind her. I didn’t want to tell her that she should go because I wanted to prove something. But my sister was right, I should already call her. And ask her if still loves me.