I Am Addiction

Chapter 3: Sanity is a distant memory.

As I danced with Pixie, holding her up most of the time, she laughed and refused to sit down and insisted on us dancing for a while longer. I was thing about how amazing I felt. I didn't feel sad or angry. I didn't feel any pain from any of my health problems. The only thing I felt was happy and energetic. For the first time in my life, I wasn't hurting in any way, I wasn't in pain, I was finally free. Vince was laughing and having so much fun, as was everyone else. Music was blaring and everyone danced along and seemed to never feel tired. Every once in a while they would brake out some more ice to keep the party going. Jason was the one who kept the stash and when everyone needed more he would have ruby brake it down on their long mirror topoed coffee table. She would use his ID to help form the long white lines for each of us to have. It seemed like they had quite a bit and I wondered if they sold it too or if it was just a personal stash. It seemed like alot to just have for themselves even though there were alot of people in the house. What kind of made me a little worried and anxious was every time Pixie took her "bathroom breaks" to go shoot up. I would come with her to make sure she was okay but even though I felt good and wasn't scared anymore I never stopped worrying about her. Now that I'd done ice, her shooting up didn't seem as bad as it had before, but I still didn't like her doing it; especially when she was doing ice and then doing heroin right after it. She would fall to the ground some times with the needle still in her arm from the high hitting her too hard and I would get down to pick her up and quite a few times, while trying to do so, she would giggle and try to slip her hand in my pants and a few other times down my shirt collar. I would stop her and laugh it off as I continued to lift her up and carry her back to the couch. She'd lay there out of her mind for a bit but always got back up to party once she came back to reality a little bit. I couldn't deny that I still had love for her. I couldn't deny that I did crave her touch and the feeling of laying next to her. I missed being with a girl in general, but I mostly just missed her. Vince wouldn't care. He'd made it very clear that I could be with women as long as it was only women and never another man. I had began to consider talking to him more about the subject but my thoughts were interrupted when Vince came up and slapped my assto get my attention. I realized I'd been zoned out for a while so I started looking around the room to see what I had missed. Every one had started doing their own thing and no one was really being too social anymore.  Jack and Jay were playing video games on a large flat screen. They seemed to not be aware of their surroundings or care very much about what was going on. Leana and amber were both on their phones while chatting with eachother. Matt had left to get drinks and cigarettes for everyone, and Pixie was standing next to me holding her phone she was using in one hand and had the other on my shoulder to help keep her balance. Vince began to speak but I couldn't hear him over the music that was still blaring through the speakers across the room, so he took my hand and started to lead me away and Pixie let go of me and flopped down on the couch next to ruby and Jason. I hadn't even noticed them sitting there before making out like they weren't in a room with a ton of people. Once Vince got to the end of the hall way he had lead me to, he looked up and raised his arm to grab a string hanging from the ceiling as he yelled over the music, "it's much more quite in the attic!" He pulled hard and got the square panel to open and he began to unfold the ladder attached to it. I looked back to the couch where I seen Pixie sitting still on her phone. She looked back as the ladder banged against the floor loudly and waved when she seen me looking back at her and blew me a kiss. I smiled and waved back just as Vince was tapping me on the shoulder to have me go up first, so he could make sure I didn't fall. I got to the top and sat down on the floor right next to the opened panel because it was dark and I didn't want to trip or brake something. He came up and clicked on a light by pulling a short yellow string hanging from the ceiling and closed the door to block out the music enough to talk.

I Am Addiction: Now that you've let me in I'm taking over control of your mind so you can just sit back and enjoy the ride because I'm here to stay.