Of Blood and Fire

Chapter 15 - ?????

There are so many things I wish I knew. Sometimes I sit outside my cave, bored despite the stories depicted on the walls, and gaze down at the kingdom, entranced with the sprawling lights and the faint murmurs of noise that reach even here. My eyesight used to be sharp enough to make out each individual window on my home; now I can see inside, see my brother on occasion, shuffling aimlessly in the empty space I once occupied. It is on these days that I feel the worst about my flight. But I had to protect myself. I was selfish. One thing about me hasn't changed to fit the harsh mountain life I now live.

Nemur is in the cave, resting beside the fire. Once the licking flames unsettled him; I could tell by the way his eyes flashed at me like a panicking rabbit, the way he paced endlessly up and down the depth of the primary cavern. Even after all this time, he has yet to see the shallow pit in which I sleep. He wouldn't have ventured there even if I let him, although I was careful not to reprimand him too harshly. Darkness and shadow envelop me there, and Nemur is a creature of light.

The first flurries have already occurred on my mountaintop, but the clouds of snow will not curl over the peaks for days or weeks yet. They're gathering; I have seen them grow denser and grayer, like thick, dull smog sucking at my cave instead of the enchanting white wisps that the Corese enjoy. They know nothing of true winter. They know nothing of hardship, with their mild summers with meadows of flowers to pick and sell at markets. In Arehlia, work is required to pull ahead. But I am detached from that now, as I have been for seven years.

Seven years. How much has changed in seven years? A third of my life spent up here alone, with Nemur as my only company. My brother must be nearing eighteen. My parents must be growing weary. I wish I could've helped them...

I could have helped all of them.

I was selfish. I am selfish. And I'm a coward. I cannot summon the courage to face them again. And I will die alone here, with my regret, and will be buried in winter snows on my mountain.

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Rather dramatic, I think. I also think she's having a few issues after all her years alone. I dunno. Her storyline isn't very developed yet. I'm more letting myself think as she does, and letting her mind guide my words. Make any sense?

Nah. Didn't think so.

Next chapter will probably be up after Thanksgiving, as I'm going to go visit @Bodiddl and @Boddicker4 and play in some real snow!

Comment! Vote! It's Snowfall, and peace out!