You Left || l.s mpreg [ UNDER CONSTRUCTION ]

20 | zander

"Zander?" Zayn asked after Harry had left and he smiled down at the small baby in his arms, the infant breathing slowly and softly.

"I was kind of thinking of Zander for my future child anyway, don't feel so special Malik." Perrie said softly, but there was a teasing smirk on her lips, letting him know that she was only being playful.

"But you gave him my last name..." Zayn said softly and looked at Perrie again before his eyes returned to his son. He pulled a chair beside Perrie's hospital bed and sat down in it, eyes still trained on the baby.

"I did. Because of the conversation we had when I was pregnant... when you came over completely wasted and cried on my shoulder." Perrie said. "You said you were sorry for hurting me and not being able to be there for me and you said you wanted the baby to have your last name. As a reminder that you have to take responsibility for your actions. And then you told me you loved me."

Zayn looked up at Perrie and nodded. "I don't... I don't do well with relationships. Every relationship I've been in has failed miserably and I just... I don't want to fail with you. More than I have, I mean." Zayn admitted quietly.

"So you... purposely ignore me in hopes you won't fail with being with me?" Perrie asked sharply, kind of taking offense to what was said.

"No." Zayn shook his head. "I purposely ignored you because I'm an asshole who doesn't know when to own up to what I've done and accept responsibility for my actions and admit my feelings when it's the right time to." Zayn said, his lips twitching into a smile.

Perrie nodded her head and then looked away from Zayn and her newborn baby, instead, focusing her eyes on the blanket she had been lying under. It wasn't that comfortable actually and it really made her miss her bed at home. Sadly though she would have to stay in this hospital for another day or two so that the doctor's could monitor her and make sure she and Zander were in perfect health. "Admit your feelings then."

"What?" Zayn asked, staring at Perrie who was looking away from him now. Even now, after giving birth and going through hell for the past 9 months, she looked absolutely breathtaking.

"I love you." Zayn said without thinking about what he was saying, Perrie's head turning to look at him. Even though he didn't quite mean to blurt the words out, but he meant what he said. Zayn has always loved Perrie, it juts took him a while to figure it out, and when he did, he was afraid she would hate him and never speak to him ever again.

"You don't mean that." Perrie whispered as she looked in Zayn eyes, wanting to see if the words were true or if he was just blurting out usual Zayn bullshit.

"Yes I do, Pez. I really do mean that." Zayn said softly, hoping with everything inside of him that Perrie would just believe him, because for the first tim, he was being true about what he felt for someone else besides himself.

"If you loved me, then you wouldn't have taken my virginity and left me with a baby to raise on my own." Perrie retorted and even though he agreed, Zayn shook his head.

"I'm not saying I know how to show that I love you exactly, and I'm not sure how to prove it to you.. I've never been good with the whole feelings type thing. I told you I loved you then too. Remember? When I took your virginity?" He asked and after a few moments Perrie nodded.

Zayn kissed Perrie softly at first but then it turned into a full on make out session that neither of them wanted to stop.

Perrie knew that this was wrong, that Zayn wasn't her boyfriend and that she shouldn't be letting Zayn iwin her over so easily, but it was Zayn. The boy she had a crush on for the longest time now, the boy who she thought didn't even realize her existence.

Zayn moved his lips down to kiss at her neck, nibbling gently at it, making Perrie pull away a tin bit considering she had never done anything like this before and even though it felt good, she felt like she was doing something wrong.

"Do you want me to stop?" Zayn asked when he noticed that Perrie wasn't so into what they were doing, looking up at her now, his lips swollen and red from where they had been kissing not so long ago.

Perrie thought over her options and then shook her head when she had finally made up her mind. "No." She admitted truthfully. She had a feeling that Zayn liked her back, and if there was even the slightest chance h did, Perrie didn't want to disappoint.

"How far?" Zayn asked and Perrie looked at him with a confused face.

"What do you mean?" Perrie asked and Zayn only smiled playfully and then leaned in closer to her face and pecked her lips gently.

"Do you want to... have sex?" Zayn asked her, and to Perrie's surprise, a blush spread over Zayn cheeks as well as her own. She wasn't exactly sure if she was ready to have sex with him.

"Oh." Perrie said softly and then gave him a small smile. "I don't know, Zayn... you aren't my boyfriend and I... I'm a virgin."

Zayn looked over Perrie's face and nodded, completely fine with her answer. "That's okay... we don't have to unless you want to." He said, even though he really wanted to, but her respected her values anyways.

Perrie bit her lip and then sighed softly. "I think... I think I want to." She muttered and Zayn's eyes got a bit wide, as if he wasn't expecting that answer, and he really wasn't. When you're basically hooking up with the most innocent person in your town, it's difficult to imagine said person to agree to something so special for a single hook up that probably wouldn't last very long, but this seemed to be happening,

"Pez, we don't ha-"

"I want to." Perrie repeated herself and Zayn watched her for a moment before nodding his head and continuing to kiss her lips, along with her neck ever now and again.

---

"That was incredible." Zayn said as he laid down next to Perrie, pulling his comforter up a bit as he laid on his side.

"Yeah..." Perrie smiled, happy with her choice.

"I love you." Zayn muttered our and Perrie looked at Zayn with a small smile before kissing him gently.

"I love you too." Perrie whispered, not sure if Zayn meant the words. She meant them of course, but Zayn was different. You could never really read his emotions unless he let all of his walls down, which was pretty much never.

"You said you loved me back." Zayn said, recalling the memory. "I'm such an asshole." He sighed softly.

"Yeah." Perrie agreed softly as she watched Zayn.

"Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know."

"I love you."

"Yeah."

A/N:

HELLO MY LOVELY CHILDREN (wow chill)

Anyways, sorry that this update is short and crappy, but I haven't written in a while and I didn't think that this chapter was any good, but it kind of leaves a little mystery...

Thoughts on Zerrie being an actual thing in this story?

Hopefully Perrie hasn't given up on Zayn :(

Thank you all so much for your votes and comments! I really appreciate it.

Hope you're enjoying this story even though I've changed the ending in my head a billion times.

lmao thanks for putting up with me

-H