*Audrey's POV*
"I only have myself to blame, but do you think we can start again? Cause I can't live without you."
Kellin's voice was ringing through my ears the minute I woke up. I was curled in a bare bed, still wearing the same clothes I had worn yesterday. It wasn't the same scenery. Everything was in plastic and boxes, and this bed doesn't have sheets.
I pulled myself together, and found a mirror in the washroom. Yikes. I even scared myself.The minute I woke up from that dream, I knew there was nothing I could do to get him back. So I pulled my ear plugs back into my ears, and fell asleep to the songs.
I could no longer just walk down the street to see his face, or drive. He's miles from here, and there's nothing I could do to see him again. Even if I did try seeing him again, I'd probably just break down into a big mess.
I wipe of the tear that fights to roll down my cheeks, and clean up. I take a nice hot shower, jump into sweats and a light and loose t-shirt. I pull on a pair of socks and tie my hair up into a bun. Its time to get busy with the fridge.
I run down the massive stairs, and find the kitchen. The beautiful kitchen, where they can provide me with love. There was a note left on the countertop.
"Morning sleepy head. We went ahead and grabbed some dinner for later. Scott is with us, busying himself with texting. (We all know its Ellie) We'll be back soon. By the way, there could be snacks that your father had eaten when waiting for us to come back here. Love, mom."
Well then. I don't eat too heavy, but I grab what I see. A bottle of coke and cookies, and head towards the backyard. Our new backyard consisted of sand, and the ocean. I decide to take my bottle of coke with me, and just take a walk in the water. I took off my socks, and soaked up the scenery.
It was a private beach, for the residents of the area. In the far distance, I could see a boarderline that seperated us from the public. I just wanted to be alone right now, so I walk towards the emptiness of the beach to my left.
I felt as if I were on vacation here. I did not belong here, and everything just didn't seem to be in place. Everything was broken glass, just on the floor with no one to pick up the pieces to put it back together.
I lost the only person that mattered to me in a matter of months. I feel a tinge on my lips. I can still feel his lips on mine, and I lingered for it. I wanted him to hold me as I wrap my legs around his waist. I wanted my head to be in his shoulder, and he would start singing to me a song we both know he couldn't sing. I wanted him to be the reason why I laughed, or why I felt stupid butterflies in my stomach. How could he do that now, when I was stupid enough to think and assume so many things that had happened after that crash.
It left me breathless. I couldn't move, so I just dropped into the sand. My feet touched the waves as they crashed onto the shore. It was cold, but it felt relaxing. I took another sip of my coke, and just stared at the sky ahead. It was still sunny out, but it was starting to die down. How could I have been so stupid. I listen to the next lyrics of the song:
See the problem isn't you, its me, I know
I do this every single time.
And I'll push you away
I get so afraid oh no.
And I can't live without you now.
I can't live with myself.
And I can't live without you now.
I don't want nobody else.
I only have myself to blame.
Do you think we could start again?
I stared at my now empty bottle of coke. I had just lost the best thing that had ever happened to me over a stupid assumption. I sit there, trying to find an emotion, because though I felt like crying, nothing was coming out.
Out of anger, I threw my empty bottle into the ocean. It will lay there lonely and empty, and drown into darkness. I watch it float, as the waves take it into its arms. I lay back this time, and shut my eyes and remember every thought of him.
I need his arms around me. I need his lips on mine. If I had not moved, maybe we could have been more. I would be in his arms, curled up on the couch just eating a big bowl of cereal while watching Spongebob. It would've been perfect if I hadn't moved, or if I hadn't forgotten him for the last 3 months.
I miss the way he made me smile. The way we would both jump onto beds and just swap positions every second. We would both fall in the end when we got tired, and just start crying of laughter. He was the reason I smiled, and probably the only thing that did. We were so close, we were inseperable.
He'd shove me off the bed, when we both lied down. I would try pushing him back, and it eventually worked. We would fight, but then end up talking like nothing had happened. It was impossible for us not to talk to each other.
Everytime one of those snides of bitches came up to me at school, they would always pull me by the ear, and tease my hair. It had always left me in tears, but Caleb would always do this.
He would always swoop me in his arms, though I was crying and didn't really want him to see me at the moment. I curled against his chest, as he cradeled me in his arms. He would always whisper in my ear to tell me.
"Superman to the rescue." It made me laugh so hard, that I had forgotten about them. I looked him in the eyes, to see if he was serious and all I could see was his bold smile.
His eyes were full of sincerity, to show he cared. He really never let me be alone. I would always try my hardest to give a tiny smile back, and I would eventually fall asleep in his arms. His heartbeat in such steady rythmn, it was so comforting to hear.
I open my eyes, and see the moon and infinite stars. It was all beautiful, and I stared at in awe. I knew that distance could never seperate us before, but I wish he would call. I long to hear his voice, to hear his words.
If only I wasn't so stubborn. I hated bothering people, so I had always waited for him to text first and he always had. But he doens't remember that.
It is as if someone had ripped me apart from a part of who I was. He was part of who made me who I was.
I rub my eyes, and see a glimpse of his face. Those gorgeous blue eyes that would stare into mine, the shaggy hair that I was always tempted to mess up even though he had made it look all pretty and such. He would tell me every first day of school.
"You're mine, forever and always."
I wrap my arms around myself, to see if I could fill in the space that he had enclosed with his arms. But I couldn't find comfort in anything I did because he was the missing piece.
I sobbed quietly to myself, until I felt a cold hand on my shoulder.
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Hello Beauties,
I'm sorry I couldn't update any earlier, but projects are such a hold up. But hey! I got two updates in time for Christmas. I promised 2 months max, remember? Alright well hope you had fun reading this. Merry Christmas!
Maybe a new character? Who could it be? Could she already know this person? I DON'T KNOW I'VE GOT A TURKEY WAITING.
Love,
Author.
