Random Me

T_T

I'm sorry if this may seem like attention seeking to you, but I really need to get out my emotions, and I'm not trying to call out for attention.

So, I'm in Wisconsin, visiting my aunt for awhile. The thing is, we just spent a few hours drinking, I took my first ever alcohol shot, which was pretty gud, and yeah. My step dad drank the most out of all of us. He drank pure shots instead of the thing everyone was drinking, which was Jäger and some redbull/monster. The thing is though, out in Wisconsin, underage drinking is allowed, so don't worry folks~ ;)

Anyways, when my mom went outside to smoke, I followed her into the COLD ASS WEATHER and stood by our truck. Then my step dad walks out, and we see him wobbling side to side, with a lost expression on his face. So of course, I'm all like, "oman, we all know Miguel, he's totally just playin'~"

The thing is, an hour later, he's puking on the floors, missing the toilet. Then my mom, my step sister, and him get into an argument. After an hour or two of arguing, my mom went outside to smoke.

Once she came out, I stood up, walked to her, then wrapped my arms around her asking, "Are you okay?"

The thing is, I felt so bad, she was crying in my arms. My step dad even cried, and I've never seen that before. I've never even seen him that drunk before. I guess that's what drinking does to a person. Yet, when I was hugging my mom... She told me... "They say that they are telling what's been on their mind when their drunk." Which, really hurt my mom's feelings. She felt really hurt my his painful, but apparently truthful words. I love my mom, so much, and it pained me to see her cry.

I'll admit, I was really close to crying, but I didn't. I haven't been to in awhile, a lot has been happening in my life recently, and I think I'm loosing emotions because of it.

I hate that I had to see my mom in so much pain, I hate seeing anyone I love, be hurt. I'm surprised I'm not crying as I type this, I think I normally would.

I'm sorry to all of those who have been hurt, physically and emotionally... I know I can't really make a difference yet, but just know, people out there really care about you. Someone out there, in this world, really cares about you, and I'm one person who does. I care about everyone, douchebag, sweet and innocent, just know, we've all been through SOMETHING, and we should appreciate the fact that they survived that pain. I think, personally, physical pain, doesn't hurt as much as emotional.

I'm sorry this chapter was sad, or something triggering you. I didn't mean to. I just really needed to let out my feelings. I don't think I'm really in the right mental state right now, so much has been happening, and I'm not just talking about what happened today. So much has happened just this week that is stressful.

I'm sorry, sorry for everyone...