HEART//one shots - joshler

Waking Up

The first time Josh sees Tyler, It's like he's waking up.

From a long sleep. A really long sleep.

It's like when something crazy happens and you think "did something crazy really just happen?" but then everything is fuzzy and you shoot up in bed and you're sweating and then suddenly,

real life comes back into focus.

It was like that.

Everything before seeing Tyler was a numb dream.

Josh still remembers the way Tyler stood. With his head tilted slightly, leaning in the back doorway leading to the patio and pool, looking about as interested in this party as Josh had. The setting sun cast orange rays through his hair and pink shadows across his cheeks and Josh was torn between being immediately very not ready and immediately so ready his jaw ached from clenching it.

:.

The first time Josh meets Tyler, It's like,

Well.

Everyone's fucking wasted. Bodies are piling up on the couches and floors, the pool out back has enough half eaten food in it to feed starving children for weeks, the bathrooms have vomit everywhere but in the toilets, yet, this is the best moment of Josh's life because the most beautiful person he's ever seen in his too-long very short life is babbling about music next to him.

The thing is, Tyler isn't drunk, and Josh has no plan of possibly ever getting drunk again.

"It's just the way music inspires people you know?" Tyler says turning an empty cup upside down onto his mouth, face twisting as if bracing for the impact of liquid. When there isn't any, Tyler let's out a soft "Oh." and throws the plastic cup across the coffee table. "Music has saved so many lives. It's incredible."

"I know," Josh says softly, looking at Tyler like he held the world in his hands. "It saved mine."

Tyler's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as he laughs, graceful fingers tapping lightly on his chest. "Mine too." He says settling down and leaning forward towards josh in the dirty living room of Josh's dirty friend's dirty house.

"I'm glad it did." Josh responds.

Surrounded by green light and pink light and alcohol and bad influences the worst ones are most likely Tyler's red red lips and Tyler's cologne and the way Tyler's hair sticks up in clumps and the wet sheen of Tyler's eyes. Josh wants to kiss a goddamn stranger.

"We should start a band." Tyler whispers, shifting his gaze from Josh's mouth up into his eyes, "Save other people's lives."

"I'm down," Josh breathes between the 12 inches of space between their faces.

Tyler smiles, quickly and painlessly cutting through the remaining tension. "Something to think about then," He says, standing up and straightening his hoodie. "Nice meeting you, Josh."

:.

The first time Josh finds trust in Tyler is when they manage to score their first real gig.

Strangely enough the band thing had really begun to take off. Even if at first Josh had thought Tyler was joking. For weeks Josh had been going over to Tyler's to write.

Josh didn't really write though, he mostly sat flush to Tyler's side with his chin in his hand and watched Tyler's process.

When Tyler had pulled him down to his basement one day, before saying anything and grasping Josh's wrist from where it was suspended in the air from knocking, Josh had known something pretty huge was happening. Most likely.

"I got us a show." Tyler had said, still holding Josh's wrists lightly, bouncing from foot to foot. A look of concern is smudged lightly across his face, like Josh would have the nerve to back out now.

"You're amazing" Josh wants to say. "Oh," He says instead.

"Shit we're not ready, are we? I knew it was a bad idea." Tyler lets go of Josh's wrists, and begins to pace rubbing his forehead.

"No, I mean, are you sure you're ready?" Josh asks, touching Tyler's shoulder stopping him in his tracks. "I trust you, Tyler." And he does, really.

Josh let's his hand fall down to Tyler's hand and squeezes it before bringing it up to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss along his dry knuckles.

It's not weird. It's just them.

"Okay."

:.

The first time Josh knows he's in love with Tyler, they're on the road.

Their music is getting more popular, which means more venues farther from home and they're hungry and tired and they find a diner on the highway and Tyler's eyes light up when he sees the old-fashioned neon sign so of course they have to stop.

The whole crew is sitting in a booth in the back of the diner, and Josh is gripping the sides of a menu while Tyler is pointing at every dish, mystified with the amazing amount of diversity in their milkshake flavors. "Josh, they have Oreo and cookies&cream. What is this place?"

Josh is in love with him.

It hits him like a semi truck going 100. Into a brick wall. Josh folds his menu up and sets it down on the table.

Tyler looks up from his menu ready to say something about the three different kinds of chocolate, when he sees how far away Josh looks.

"You okay?" Tyler asks, folding his own menu up and leaning over the table into a glass of water, sipping on it tentatively.

"I'm great." Josh says laughing and shaking his head. Why did it take so long for him to realize?

"Good," Tyler says seriously, pressing his foot into Josh's shin under the table and reaching his hand out to find Josh's on top of it. "I'm ready to order my German Belgian Devil's Food chocolate milkshake."

:.

The first time Josh kisses Tyler, it's early in the morning.

They've just finished one of the biggest shows of their life, confetti is everywhere on the floors. The arena staff is sweeping it up with big brooms. Josh sits on the edge of the stage, watching and wishing he could take as much as he can carry and shove it in a jar somewhere, to remember. He realizes he doesn't need that kind of souvenir when Tyler plops down next to him, leaning his head on Josh's shoulder and reaching for his hand.

"I'm tired." Tyler says, breathing softly into Josh's neck.

Josh suddenly starts laughing so hard that Tyler has to look up at him, concern in his eyes, but joy in his smile. "What?" Tyler breathes, growing silent.

'What?'

Josh only shakes his head and places both hands on either of Tyler's cheeks, using his thumbs to rub circles under Tyler's jaw. Josh then pulls Tyler in quickly and presses a deep kiss to Tyler's red red lips and breathes all of Tyler in.

Until he can't breathe.

Until Tyler kisses back.

The first time Josh tells Tyler he loves him, it's early in the morning.

"I love you." Josh says softly, pulling away just enough to whisper it, eyebrows knitting and eyes closing.

Tyler laughs, holding onto Josh's wrists, using them as an anchor. "I love you, too." Tyler whispers back.

The set light coming from the screens behind them cast red rays through Tyler's hair and purple shadows across Tyler's cheeks. Josh was no longer torn between being immediately very not ready and immediately so ready his jaw aches, because now he's kissing Tyler again and nothing will ever hurt.

The first time Josh knows it's always been Tyler, It's like he's waking up.

From a long sleep. A really long sleep.