Negligent ∞ Jikook

열다섯 ∞ Adjutorious

[Adjutorious = a helper]

— Jungkook's POV —

          Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung were keeping an eye on me while I was eating my dinner in case I would try to dispose of the food away. I still hated eating but I tried my best to finish it since they wouldn't leave me alone.

"Jungkook, remember, just take your time, alright? I know it's not easy for you," Jin hyung said as he caressed my hand gently. Just as I was about to open my mouth, I was abrupted by his incoming phone call. He quickly dismissed himself to the living room, leaving Yoongi hyung to continue watching me over.

"Hey, Jimin! Is there something wrong?"

...

"What do you m- Oh." 

I didn't mean to eavesdrop the phone call but I couldn't help it since I was a bit worried about Jimin hyung. I gave a side glance and noticed Jin hyung covering his phone with his hand and talking to Taetae hyung and Hobi hyung.

"Tae, Hobi, can you both go to the dance studio to help Jimin? He's close to having another relapse.."

Wait, what? What did he mean by "another"? Is Jimin hyung still struggling with his anorexia 

You were the reason he became like this in the first place, idiot.

You aren't capable to help him when you can't even help yourself!

"I..I know..." I mumbled to myself. I was so engrossed with my inner demons that I didn't even notice Yoongi hyung calling my name.

Why would he forgive such a selfish and stupid person like you?

You selfish, ungrateful, useless, utter piece of shit who even ruined someone else's life!!

My thoughts started to accelerate more inside my head. I want them to slow down so I could breathe but they won't. I covered my ears and began to hit my head with my fist; my breaths came in gasps and I felt like I would blackout. My heart is hammering inside my chest as if it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin.

"It's all my fault! It's all my fault!! I fucking hate myself!!"

The room started spinning and I squatted on the floor, trying to make everything slow to something my brain and body could cope with. I felt so sick. I wish I could call Jimin but he's not here in the dorm at the moment. I don't know who to call, what's their number, who too call, too far away, he's gone, he went, breathe, gone, what number, too far away... blackness... creeping blackness...

I'm on the floor in a ball- the fetal position. Where is he, what's my name, who to call, what's the number, the stairs are too steep, the room is spinning...

"..ook!...Jun...Jungkook! Hey, listen to me! JUNGKOOK!!"

"Y-Yoongi h-hyung...I -c-can't breathe..." I then felt myself being lifted up and being embraced close to his chest.

"Hey, it's okay, bub. Listen to hyung, alright? Try to follow my counting while you try to calm your breathing, okay?"

I sobbed into his chest unceasingly the moment he brought my head to his chest, my hands clutching at his shirt. Once I was able to regulate my breathing, he held me in silence, rocking me slowly as my tears soaked his chest.

A tiny lapse let me pull away, blinking lashes heavy with tears, before I collapsed again, my howls of misery worsening. The pain must have come in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling my back into the outstretched arms of my grief.

"Shh... it's okay. Let it all out, hyung is here. I'll make sure Jimin comes back here as soon as possible."

As much as I tried to continue to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. Just thinking about how I ruined Jimin because of my stupid mouth makes me so infuriated with myself.

The muffled sobs wracked against his chest. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against me before I lost the feeling of feeling. Everything darkened into nothingness as I passed into the oblivion of unconsciousness, but the only positive thing was the feeling of warmth of my hyung's chest...

"I'm sorry, Jimin hyung...I'm so...sorry..."

- Yoongi's POV -

"Oh god! What happened here?" Namjoon and Jin hyung came into the dining room with concerned glances. I looked up while still cradling Jungkook in my arms as he had passed out.

"Jungkook overheard you, Jin hyung. He started to have a panic attack since he still blames himself for Jimin's anorexia." Namjoon gently carried Jungkook since I am incapable to carry him back to his room.

"Damn it! I can't believe I made such a careless mistake."

"Jin hyung, don't blame yourself. You were just too invested in trying to distract Jimin..." I gently placed my hand and rubbed circles on his back. I quietly gave Namjoon a silent nod, signaling him to bring Jungkook to his room immediately just in case he suddenly wakes up. I would not like to have him have another panic attack just because Jin hyung was blaming himself.

"You should probably call them back home and tell them what happened. I don't think Jimin would be happy if we just let this slide without telling him." He nodded and dialed Jimin's phone number. I stood up and made my way to Jungkook's room but I didn't expect to see a lovely moment.

"You're going to be okay, Jungkook-ah. Hyung is sorry for not paying you much attention nowadays especially when you need someone when Jimin isn't around. I promise you that I'll become more responsible. Sweet dreams." Namjoon then proceeded to give a peck on Jungkook's head and quietly tiptoed out of his room, not noticing I was actually at the door observing him.

"Y-Yoongi hyung!" He stuttered embarrassingly and I couldn't help myself but give a soft chuckle, "Come on, let's go."

We both walked out to join Jin hyung and Namjoon suddenly told us that he had a proposal he had in mind for a while.

"Hyung, I can't stand seeing these two suffer any longer. Let's have a meeting with the others when they come back and settle this together."