My popular secret

Chaptet 7- The Pain hits home

My surgery is booked for 2 weeks time.

They sent me home after 4 nights in hosptial, but I've still got my port accessed. Which basically means I have a needle in my chest, and tubes dangling down from it. I'm not always attached to any medicine, but I have to keep it accessed just in case anything happens in the next 2 weeks, before my surgery.

I'm still quite sick. But I'm better than I was.

I literally didn't get out of bed whilst I was in hosptial. I was so weak, so nauseous, and so tired.

My breathing improved after a couple days, so I was able to come off the oxygen.
But since I've been back home, I don't feel the same as I did before the night they called the ambulance.
I feel weaker, and more dependent on my mum to get me things.
My dad carries me down the stairs sometimes, because I'm either too weak or too tired to do it myself.

He's done it for the past 12 years, since the day I got diagnosed. My whole family have always been there for me, especially when I'm at my lowest points. And this is one of them.
I'll get over it eventually, I always do!
But until my surgery, I'm going to be in a lot of pain.

Today, I'm going back to college after a whole week off.
My parents don't want me to go. But if I want to have a future then I need my education. I'm already behind on so much school work. And plus... I just want to feel like a normal girl.
Just because I'm sick, doesn't mean I have to act like I'm sick.

Well... I've got to atleast try.

--

I arrive, but trying to ignore some people. I know people will ask why I haven't been here, but I haven't come up with a good enough cover story yet.

I manage to avoid most of my friends until first period.
I start off in English. And it isn't long until Caleb comes and approaches me.

"Hi, im Caleb, the guy you met last week."
"Oh... yeah, hi?" I say, but still trying to kind of block him out.
"So where have you been? I haven't seen you in a lesson in a while."
"It's only been a weeek!" I snap back. "Sorry, I mean, it's just some personal stuff okay. It's none of your business."
"Oh, I'm sorry. " he goes back to his seat. I'm already feelings stressed and I've only just got here.

--

Unfortunately, my friends did find me. Including Shannon, and she is one who always demands answers.

"Guys, it's just some family stuff alright. Chill, k" I say, to try and remain calm and cool, and make it not seem like a big deal.
"Soz Bella. So, have you spoke to Dylan lately?"
Asks Hannah.
I really didn't want this topic to come up, but atleast it's something to get away from the other situation.
"No, Hannah, guys, nothing's happening between us okay. So just drop the topic."
"Oh Bella, we don't want to make you upset, but I genuinely believe he's interested in you. Just... just give him a chance will ya?"
"I...I don't know... I can't really be dealing with this right now... I'll... I'll see you guys later."
And I just walk away...

--

I probably shouldn't have left them hanging like that, now even more questions are being raised around my friendship group.
But I'm just so stressed. It's all really getting to me at the moment.

I called my sister to come pick me up. She's currently in university, but she's not far away. I asked her to take me home. And luckily, she was free, and happily agreed to it.