My popular secret

Chapter 17- my worst mistake

"Your oxygen levels are rising just very slowly."
"But I really don't need to be here do I? I'm not sick! Please, just let me go home."
I eventually got to sleep last night, but I was woken up at 7am to have some more blood tests and to change a few of my lines to my port. So I really only got a few hours of actual sleep.
Now I'm having an argument with my oncologist - and my mother - and my nurses. They won't let me go home and I'm just so frustrated. Not really wth them because I know they're just doing their jobs, but more with my body and the fact it just won't give me a day off.
"Bella you know your sick. Just please listen to the doctors." My mother says trying not to panic over the whole situation.
"Ughhh" I groan and then throw my head back onto my pillow, and cover my face with it.
"It's just for another day. Your body is just taking a little while longer to adapt to the medicine than normal." Says Tia.
"There's also something I want to talk to you about Bella." Dr Adams says in attempt to get me out from under the cushion.
"What?" I mumble through the hosptial, disinfectant smelling material.
"I was wondering if you would be up for beginning some radiotherapy today?"
"Today?" Me and my mum say simultaneously.
"Yes it's all been arranged."
"So I don't really have a choice then?"
"You do, but you also don't. Come on, I believe this could really help with your lung tumours and therefore your breathing so you'll get to go home earlier. That's what you want isn't it?"
"Fiiiiiiiiiine." I say and then release the pillow from my face because I know that definitly wasn't helping my breathing. My nasal cannula falls out from my nose, and Tia quickly leans over and puts in back In for me (as if I couldn't do that for myself).
"Great we will come collect you this afternoon when we're ready."
"Can I see Caleb this morning?" I ask before anyone leaves the room.
"I'll go check up on him and talk to his nurses for you okay." Says Tia and then shoots me a big smile. I never did tell her what happened with me and Caleb yesterday, and that's another great thing about her, she doesn't ask twice.

--

Christy came to the hosptial this morning with my dad, and one of my other brothers, Daniel. He's lives away at uni, and is barely ever home, but as it's Christmas soon he's broken up for the holidays.
Christy immediately comes over and gives me a big hug. "How did you end up back here then again Huh?"
"Don't even get me started on that."
"So how you feeling, really?" She asks as she takes hold if my hand and starts to stroke my bald head.
"I'm fine. But the doctors can't see that."
"They see that your body isn't getting enough oxygen."
"Whatever."
"What about the blood in the sink?"
"Shh!!!" I say and look around to make sure my dad and brother are talking to my mum. "That was blood from coughing not from throwing up so don't worry about it."
"Bella that is something to worry about! Have you told Dr. Adams, or nurse Tia atleast."
"No! It's just from the lung tumours so don't-"
"Which is why you're struggling to breath, if you just told them they would probably be able to sort it out quicker."
"Well I'm not telling them because then they'll want to do more tests and I'll have to be here for even longer!"
All this talking is making me exteremly tired and my throat is also really sore. Eventually I decide to stop talking even when Christy talks to me. I lie back in my bed and face away from all my family. I don't want them to see me in this much pain. I'm struggling. In more ways than one. And I don't want them to see me like this. Wth tears slowly falling down my cheeks, and the oxygen continuing to trickle up my nose, it still doesn't take much for me to fall asleep.

Christy POV:

She's been asleep for a few hours now. Still laying in that same position after she refused to talk to me. Her oxygen tubes have fallen out of her nose multiple times due to the position she's lying in, so the nurses had to get an oxygen mask so it wouldn't fall off. She didn't wake up through any of it which isn't like Bella at all. It worries me seeing her this frail and weak. I know if she had the physical ability to she would have ran away by now like she used to. But refusing treatment will have more dramatic consequences than ever. I know she wants to get better, she really does, but like all of us, we're starting to doubt that she ever will.