Ghost of a Chance

Four

In bed that night I couldn't sleep again. It was ridiculous, but all I could think about was James. I felt like I just had to see him again—the sooner the better. I kept trying to talk myself out of it. I mean, after all, so what if he was really cute and everything—he was dead. Plus I'd only talked to him for like three minutes. Still, I couldn't get him out of my head.

There was something about him. And the way he'd just shown up and immediately understood my crush on Chaz really bothered me too. It wasn't that I thought he'd tell anyone—I was almost positive he wouldn't. It was the fact that he knew about it at all. Like he could read my mind.

You're probably not going to believe me when I tell you what I did next. I can barely believe it myself. At one o' clock in the morning I got up, got dressed, and snuck out of the house. At first I don't think I even knew what I was planning. I just wanted to get up and get some fresh air, I told myself. But the next thing I knew, I was easing off the emergency brake on my mom's car and letting the boxy old sedan roll silently down the driveway and as far along the street as gravity would take it before I started the engine. I'm allowed to drive my mom's car, and I have a license and everything, so it wasn't like I was doing anything illegal. But still, I knew I was way over the line.

I didn't even know where I was going. At least that's what I made myself believe. But the minute I turned into Coast Road, I couldn't pretend anymore. I was going to Chloe's.

I parked Mom's car out on the street and crept up Chloe's long driveway as quietly as I could, swearing under my breath as the gravel crunched beneath every footstep. I was still amazed at my own unexpected nerve, and the whole thing seemed kind of unreal—like a dream or something. When I finally got to the house, my heart was pounding like crazy. I was sure I was going to be caught any second. And if it wasn't bad enough, I had absolutely no idea what to do next. It wasn't like I could knock on the door or ring the doorbell or anything. The entire house was dark. It was probably the least practical thing I'd ever done in my life, up to this point.

The moon was almost full, and it was so bright that I could see nearly every detail of the yard. It was better than a flashlight. On the other hand, it made me awfully visible too. I knew I couldn't stand around there much longer, so I set off across the grass towards the backyard.

If I could just get up to Chloe's room somehow, I knew she wouldn't mind being woken up. I had to talk to someone—I was going crazy. But when I finally made my way around to the pool, I could see that Chloe's lights were off and her balcony was dark. I thought there was an outside chance I could climb up to her room on one of the wisteria trellises, but I wasn't sure if it could hold my weight. Besides, that would have definitely woken up the whole house. Throwing rocks at her windows was out too—that may work in the movies, but in real life glass breaks. I know; Chloe's done it. If only we both had cell phones my problem might have been solved, but my parents don't want to pay for one and Chloe's don't see the need. I was totally defeated.

Without realizing I was going anywhere in particular, I wandered out to the gazebo. The gazebo was part of the original mansion, but it later got moved farther out into the garden, to make room for the pool. It's incredibly old-fashioned and romantic, and Chloe has already decided to get married in it. You know, when she's old and bored with breaking hearts.

When I saw where I was, I figured I could at least sit down and think for a minute before I went back home. I plopped into the smooth painted bench that runs around the whole inside of the gazebo to consider my options. I was pretty confused, if you want to know the truth.

The air in Chloe's yard was dead still, and the smell of Mrs. Hart's flowers was terrifically heavy—it hung in the air like some sort of tangible presence. It was pretty warm out too, but cold enough to make me wish I'd worn something thicker than a sweatshirt. I was just thinking there was no point putting off leaving any longer when I heard a sound in the bushes. They definitely rustled.