Dipperflight isn't okay. His relationships are toxic, and his entirety is aching. It's like crows pecking at your heart... they peck and peck and you just want to run away. Dipperflight's stuck though-- stuck with a terrible love in a Clan that does...
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"Are you alright?" Dipperflight's eyes snapped all the way open, his muscles tensing.
"What...?" He whispered, glancing over. Dawnwhisker stood in the entrance to the medicine den where Dipperflight was laying in a nest. The dark gray-brown and ginger patched tabby padded further into the den.
"Are you alright?" She repeated, head tilting to the side. "You were just staring off into space...." Dipperflight twitched an ear, setting his head back in his paws and relaxing.
"Yeah, I'm fine...," he murmured. Dawnwhisker quirked an eyebrow.
"Then why are you in the medicine den?" She stood in front of him now, pale green eyes confused.
"Fennelstorm thinks I should stay here for the day, in case I caught a cold or.. Something." He blinked slowly. Dawnwhisker swished her tail.
"Hm. I don't see any reason for it, but then again I'm not a medicine cat or an overly-concerned lover." She settled down, nosing toward where Dandelionpaw was sleeping across the stone den, a poultice and cobwebs slathered to the injury on her head. "Sorrelleap sent me here to check out Dandelionpaw for her. She feels horrible about what happened, and she's too afraid to come and see for herself." Dawnwhisker groomed her chest fur.
"Dandelionpaw was talking this morning about wanting to train, but Heatherberry said she needed to rest in case she had some 'lingering injury.'" He informed, laying a bit more comfortably to face the warrior.
"Ah. I'll probably just tell Sorrelleap that she's fine; I don't want her to feel worse about it."
"You don't know if that's completely true, though," the pale-muzzled tom meowed, confused.
"I don't, but I know that it's what she wants to hear, it's what we all want to believe. Besides, honestly, she probably will be alright. Oh! Did I tell you about that time I fell in the river? It wasn't as cold and scary and bloody as when Dandelionpaw fell in, but I still got wet and," Dipperflight spaced out, his mind concentrating on the first part of what she had said. It's what she wants to hear, it's what we all want to believe.
"Anyway, I need to go now, I'm supposed to be fixing a leak in the warriors den," she huffed, "hopefully Fennelstorm doesn't get on my tail. If he does, I'll just say I came to see you!" She purred brightly, whisking away in a whirl of short calico fur.
Dipperflight watched her depart for a moment before setting his head back in his paws. 'I love you,' Fennelstorm says that all the time. He must love me though-- cats that love you don't save you like he saved me back then.. Dipperflight's eyelids half-closed once again, memories sweeping over him.
It had been a season earlier shortly after he had become a warrior, during leaf-bare. Greencough had swept through the ThunderClan camp, bringing death in its wake. Dipperflight sat in camp, his head bowed, a small cry escaping his lips, eyes barely open as he watched the elders carefully carry his dead father out of camp. The thick black tom's yellow eyes were clouded over, his fur matted with sickness and pelt frozen from lack of warming blood-flow. The white-muzzled warrior watched his parent be hauled out of camp, his gaze falling back to the ground.
Tears welled up in his amber eyes, wanting to spill out but he wished with all his might to keep it together. Keep it together. You'll be okay. Sorrelpaw and Dawnpaw's mother died a week ago and they're back to apprentice duties. He shut his eyes tightly, fat drops spilling down his striped cheeks in the cold, grey half-light of the day. I don't know if I'll ever be okay..I'll be all alone now without him--
"Hey... Dipperflight.." He is eyes flashed open, and glanced up. A ginger warrior, just a few moons little older than himself. Fennelstorm. Dipperflight didn't usually talk to the well-muscled tom, usually keeping to himself, but here he was, green eyes soft and patient. "I'm sorry about Ravenfur. I know how hard it must be but...," he rested his head on top of Dipperflight's, and the dark brown tabby tom took half a moment before leaning into the embrace, "I'll be here for you. Always."
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Dipperflight glanced up, eyes dull. He spotted Heatherberry, as he did so. The gray tabby medicine cat crouched over Dandelionpaw, carefully looking her herb dressings over as she slept. The tom's pale green irises swept over to lock with the warrior's and he padded over, head tilted high and eyes slightly narrowed in confusion.
"What are you still doing in the medicine den? Are you not feeling well?" He questioned, sitting down in the neat and orderly way he always did. Dipperflight sat up as well.
"No.. I.." He glanced over before meeting the striped tom's eyes. No use lying to him. "Fennelstorm told me to stay in the medicine den today. Just in case." Heatherberry rolled his eyes.
"His over-protectiveness is starting to get out of paw. You're perfectly fine, go hunt or whatever you warriors like to do when you aren't patrolling." Dipperflight opened his mouth in protest.
"No, Fennelstorm told me to stay here for the day." He stated again, eyes earnest. Heatherberry flicked an ear in slight, mostly controlled frustration.
"And he'll have to get over himself. You go do what you want besides stay in here. Go follow Fennelstorm around, go play games with Lionfur's kits. I don't care." The amber-eyed warrior swallowed, his paws kneading the moss best he was in.
"But.. Fennelsto--"
"He shouldn't be so worried about you," Heatherberry narrowed his eyes, "he should be more concerned with his clanmates than if you ate a thrush at sunhigh." He raised his tail beckoning with his head. "Go on, before you wake Dandelionpaw." Dipperflight got to his paws.
"It's just his way of showing that he loves me...," Dipperflight mumbled as he began to pad off.
"Giving you gifts, physical affection, their spare time, kind words.. Those are ways to show affection." Heatherberry watched the ThunderClan warrior leave the den, and Dipperflight refused to look back, though he did manage to catch the wise medicine cat's final words. "Excessively controlling you is not showing you anything close to love. You know that right?" Dipperflight flicked an ear in acknowledgement.
I feel like deep down, I know that already but... He looked over to where Fennelstorm was already approaching with look that was somehow both curious and furious in his eye.
Like Dawnwhisker said. 'I love you,' is what I hear from Fennelstorm, and it's what I want to believe. I want to believe it so much because I know I'm a bad, disobedient, unaffectionate mate. I want to believe it so much because I know, even deeper down...
Fennelstorm isn't that great of a mate either.
// An Yes I did throw in a bit of art there. Bet you weren't expecting that >:-0 Also I feel like I'm rushing his development a bit but there's no going back lol.
