Finally Part 2 (Lucaya)

Chapter 41

A/N: Okay guys. This is the last chapter before the dramatics take a turn for the worst. I noticed some people saying that Maya's being annoying etc. there's reasonings for this. This is going so much deeper then just your run in the mill pregnancy hormones. There is something VERY specific going on with Maya and I've hinted at it several times in the past few chapters. Have any of you figured it out? I promise this behavior is for a very particular reason and it's very crucial to this entire story going back as far as part 1 of the story.

Maya's POV

I really thought this day would never end. I'm tired and cranky and honestly just want to be at home. Lucas and I haven't really talked since last nights situation, but can I really blame him?  When I walked up to the apartment door I could hear the tv playing on the other side. I figured it would be Lucas, but to my surprise when I walked in, it was Riley.

"Hi Riles. What are you doing here?" I asked her as I put my stuff on the counter and went and joined her on the couch.

"I wanted to surprise you and spend the rest of the day with you, if that's okay?" She asked as she muted the tv.

"Of course, that's more then okay with me. Where's Lucas?" I asked her since he wasn't anywhere in sight.

"He's out with Farkle. Doing what guys do, I don't know." She replied and we both laughed.

"That's good though. He probably needs time away from me anyways." I said in a quiet voice, but she still heard me.

"What do you mean?"

"We got in two gigantic fights last night. First one was understandable on my end, but the second one was completely my fault and I'm sure he hates me right now." I said as a tear escaped from my eye and slid down my cheek.

"Aw, peaches, he doesn't hate you. He could never hate you. He loves you." She replied and she moved closer to me wrapping me in a hug.

"Riles, you didn't see his face last night. He was in shock at what I said to him." I responded as I started to cry a little more.

"Maya, I hung out with him today. I know you two got in a fight last night. He doesn't hate you. He's just worried about you. We all are." She said which caused me to look at her.

"Why are you worried? There's nothing to be worried about."

"You know Maya, you keep saying that, but I don't believe you. You're my best friend and I can see right through you. I know everything is not fine. I'm also not going to force you to tell me, but just know, when you're ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen because I can take it, whatever it is." She explained to me and it made me smile.

"I love you Riles. I would go completely insane without you. Even more so then I am now." I stated.

"Maya, you aren't crazy. You're just going through something. It's obvious you're going through something, but I know better then to force it out of you. You'll talk when you're ready." She replied with that Riley smile that I couldn't help but smile back at.

"You're right. Why don't we do something else to distract me from my inner thoughts?" I asked while hoping she would agree.

"That's a good idea and I actually have an idea that could take your mind off that." She said as she grabbed the baby book sitting next to her that she got me awhile back that I had yet to fill out. "Lucas said you guys hadn't filled this out yet and I thought it would be a fun thing for us to do and he agreed. What do you think?"

"Okay.. I guess that's fine." I replied.

She opened the book and filled out the gender and basic information that we already know. The thought of doing this was starting to give me anxiety. This is something a soon to be mother should be excited about doing not having anxiety like this. All this was putting me deep back in my thoughts. I just want everything to slow down, even though I know that's not physically possible. There was a reason I was avoiding filling this out. Over the past few weeks I've really grown to hate myself and I hate myself for thinking this way. The depression is always there in my head and it's not going away. Riley looked so happy to be filling this out with me and all I can sit here and do is feel sorry for myself. If I'm like this now then what kind of mother am I going to be to this kid. Everyone keeps saying I'm going to be an amazing mom, but what kind of amazing mom sits here and continues to question themselves every single day. Lucas already became a father the moment I told him. He was literally so excited. He was great with it, he didn't run like most guys would do upon finding out that their girlfriend is knocked up. He sits here everyday and just takes me treating him like garbage. I don't deserve him. I'm not worthy of him loving me. Before I even knew it, without realizing it I was sitting there crying.

"Maya? Maya? What's wrong?" Riley asked as she put the pen down and looked at me with concern.

"Riley I can't do this."

"Do what Maya? We're just filling out a book." She said in a duh tone of voice.

"Clearly Riles. I just don't want to fill this crap out right now. It's making me feel worse about everything." I replied while crying even harder then I was before.

"Maya, there's nothing to be crying about. It's just a baby book. You're suppose to fill these things out before the baby gets here and you're two months away from having him. Have you guys even picked out a name yet?" She asked.

"No Riley. We have not picked out a name yet. I'm sorry I can't live up to everyone expectations and decide everything I want in life exactly when people want me to okay. I'm still just a kid. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I didn't sign up for this, but it still happened." I said as I took the baby book from her and threw it across the room.

"Okay Maya, enough with the dramatics. No one is expecting you to do anything right now. I just thought you would find it fun to do." She said in a stern voice.

"Well you thought wrong. Now if you don't mind I would appreciate it if you left. I can't handle you right now." I said while not even looking at her, but looking at the book I just threw across the room.

"Come on you're being ridiculous."

"I said go!" I rose my voice and she got the hint and got up and left.

After she was gone I got up and went and locked the door. I walked over to where I threw the baby book and just sat there staring at it which brought me to tears once again because I don't know who I am anymore and what's become of me. First I fight with Lucas and now I'm fighting with my best friend. I hurt the two people I care most about in this world and I hate myself for it.