I Fell For The Girl I couldn't Have

Hello

Hi..I was planning on updating tonight but i just finished this new chapter for an actual novel and it really stresses me out. I mentally feel sick and I am just tired of everything. I had some personal stuff just go down at home and I have to keep pretending everything's okay when it's really not. I'm scared i'm going to slip into old habits so i'm going to press the pause button on some stuff until I feel stable again. I have a plan for the next part but I need to think about it some more before putting it out there. Some people probably think whatever is happening with me isn't a big deal because it really isn't but some might say writing a novel isn't hard. It's so fucking hard. I have the mort shitty Computer and today it deleted EVERYTHING I WROTE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I PUT HOURS UPON HOURS INTO THAT GOD DAMN NOVEL TO HAVE IT DELETED. I HAD TO RE WRITE EVERUTHING THEN PRINT IT AND DONT FORGET TOMORROW I HAVE TO HAVE SOME KID JUDGE MY WRITING AND SAY WHATS WEONG WITH IT! UGH AND DONT TELL ME ITS SELFISH TO FEEL SOMETHING TOWARDS MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVENT FELT SORRY FOR MYSELF IN A LONG TIME SO SHUT THE HELL UP. woah..um sorry..had to let that out...imma imma go..