These entries are a glimpse of my personal journey and struggle with Bipolar disorder and depression.
These entries may cause triggers so please be careful when you read.
If you need help please don't hesitate to call and ask for help...
If you nee...
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There isn't always bad days but the 'good days' don't feel all that great either. They just don't feel as bad.
I didn't feel the need to cut today. The thought is always at the back of my mind, though. Lingering. Waiting for the perfect moment to make its way to the front of the line, pushing all the other thoughts out of the way.
I felt better today than yesterday. No fake laugh. No fake smile. I was still tired but that usually doesn't go away for another week or two.
But when someone asked me a question later in the day, a simple question, something was just triggered in my mind and I started to panic again.
My thoughts raced. The need trying to push itself to the front. I tried shaking it off. I took deep breaths. Closed my eyes and after 10 minutes I was calm. Or as calm as I could be...
Why did that question trigger something inside me? I have no clue. I wish I knew. But I've learned that most of the 'Whys' I have will never be answered.
And on my bad bad days that would make me cringe but today I'll let it slide just a bit because overall, today was a good bad day...
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Day 3.
BTW thank you so much to all of those reading. It means so much to me. Please, if you need to talk or just vent feel free to dmme here, Twitter or AskFM. Links are in my bio.
